Audience: Sheila Hammond

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Comments

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[you should because that's 100% who she named this dog after.]

That's because Greed tries to make it all fancy and overcomplicates things. [boo.] But it's a perfect name for a perfect boy. [more pets for kyle.]

Are you a dog person, a cat person, or both?

[toesies]

[At least she will love this dog more than Sigma loved Kyle.]

Definitely dogs. No offense to cats or anything— they're great! But I like it when my pets actually respond to their name. It makes life so much easier.

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Some cats can be really smart and come when you call them, too! But I've never had pets so I like both of them a lot. And Kyle always responds.

[kyle woofs an affirmative.]

[toesies]

Oh, totally! But the question is, do they want to come when you call them?

[And then she clicks her tongue, cooing at Kyle.]

Sounds like you two are already on the same wavelength. Now, that's a good boy.

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Prooobably not. [kyle hears the universal noise of a dog beckoned and immediately turns away from lust to lumber over to sheila instead.]

He's the best! But a lot of the dogs here are pretty cute. You just have to find the right one to get along with.

[toesies]

[She will literally open her arms wide for this dog, clicking her tongue. Come here, boy!!]

All dogs are cute, Iris. [A gentle correction. All dogs are kings and queens!] I wish I could take one back with me, but I'm worried some jackass will break into my room one of these days.

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Okay that's true, I'll give you that. [kyle barrels into sheila and immediately tries to lick her face.]

What if you took a really, really big one? They could take care of themselves.

[toesies]

Ohh, like a rottweiler? Big and with an undeserved reputation, but actually soft and cuddly on the inside.

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Yeah! Their barks are some of the scariest, too, so they'd shoo off anybody who came to try and attack you.

[...] You don't think that's ever gonna be a problem, do you?

[toesies]

... I hope it's never a problem. But someone did recently kill my roommate.

[And then someone killed Omi, so. You know. Murderers, what are your criteria???]

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Yeah, that's true. I dunno, you just seem really well-liked. It's hard to think of somebody going after you.

[except yeah then someone killed omi so you know.]

[toesies]

Aw... Well, that's nice of you to say. Even if it is a little inaccurate.

[maybe someone will kill sheila next week and set me free]

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It can't be that inaccurate...Luca aside.

[toesies]

White. The creepy doctor guy who may or may not sell organs on the black market? [Law...] And the guys I barely talk to.

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White's a dummy. [and that's all they say because they don't know the rest.] I wouldn't take it too seriously and anyway, he wouldn't kill you.

[toesies]

He is a dummy.

[Nodding solemnly, while getting her face licked by a dog because I totally forgot about that. It's fine.]

What's his problem, anyway? He's always yelling at me! I don't like it.

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Tsundere! Also he's wrath-aligned for a reason. If you treat him nicely and don't tell him he's an idiot he seems to do just fine.

[white's a dummy but they're also a white stan.]

Does he just yell on his own?

[toesies]

Okay, well, I don't call him an idiot. But I do call him out when he starts yelling at me for no reason.

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[the dog is still sitting on sheila's feet by now.]

Maybe all we have to do is find a way to distract him. That should work, shouldn't it?

[toesies]

Maybe? What sort of distraction did you have in mind?

[the dog will get some absent minded pats. good boy. best kyle.]

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I usually bribe him with food or games. Sometimes we talk about music. And sometimes I just let him complain about Endorsi.

[toesies]

Yeah... I like Endorsi too much, so I feel like that last option would cause more problems than solve them. Maybe I could bribe him with lasagna...?

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That's not a bad idea. Do you know how to make it? I think he wouldn't mind if it was from the machine either.

[toesies]

I do, in fact, know how to cook lasagna! I may eat people now, but I still have to cook dinner when it's my turn.

[A beat.]

But for him, vending machine is fine.

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[it gets her to laugh at least.]

Put it on a plate and he won't even know the difference! I think a nice gesture will be a good start. White seems...lonely. And a meal together sounds like a good way to try and make amends.

[and by amends she means get white to calm down.]