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[sheila will get a reply back which says, "The kitchen, if you please."
inside, a tall figure in a familiar hood with the hand and mouth emblem is waiting for her. two thick, brown horns arc out of the hood and curve back over their head. a black spade tail swishes behind them.
and a pair of glowing orange eyes peer at sheila as she enters.]
Hello, Mrs. Hammond. Might I assume you are here for your dietary necessities?
inside, a tall figure in a familiar hood with the hand and mouth emblem is waiting for her. two thick, brown horns arc out of the hood and curve back over their head. a black spade tail swishes behind them.
and a pair of glowing orange eyes peer at sheila as she enters.]
Hello, Mrs. Hammond. Might I assume you are here for your dietary necessities?
And hello to you... Gluttony?
[She very blatantly examines them after she arrives in the kitchen, humming a little as she apparently decides she is now okay with literally horny people. That's fine.]
To answer your question: yup! [A beat.] ... Well, mostly. I have a shit ton of other questions, but I wouldn't mind some variety in my diet. I'm already out of organ meat, and— did you know eating someone twice isn't nearly as exciting as you'd think it would be? It's so disappointing.
[She very blatantly examines them after she arrives in the kitchen, humming a little as she apparently decides she is now okay with literally horny people. That's fine.]
To answer your question: yup! [A beat.] ... Well, mostly. I have a shit ton of other questions, but I wouldn't mind some variety in my diet. I'm already out of organ meat, and— did you know eating someone twice isn't nearly as exciting as you'd think it would be? It's so disappointing.
Oh, I believe I would be able to commiserate. A feast simply is not as delicious when it has not ripened, or it is not enjoyed completely in the first go.
[they motion to the counter with a white gloved hand. there is a styrofoam cooler there with the lid on.]
Do you have a preference? The whole body? Organs only? Arms, legs? Men, or women?
[they motion to the counter with a white gloved hand. there is a styrofoam cooler there with the lid on.]
Do you have a preference? The whole body? Organs only? Arms, legs? Men, or women?
[She gasps, pressing a hand to her chest.]
You're letting me choose? [She sounds so touched.] Aw... It's like I can go to Subway again.
[...
Oh. Right. There was something important she wanted to ask. What was it...?]
Wait, no. Hold on. Before I answer, I need to know. Where are you getting them from? Were they a nazi? Sold drugs to kids? One of the bodies on the other floor...?
You're letting me choose? [She sounds so touched.] Aw... It's like I can go to Subway again.
[...
Oh. Right. There was something important she wanted to ask. What was it...?]
Wait, no. Hold on. Before I answer, I need to know. Where are you getting them from? Were they a nazi? Sold drugs to kids? One of the bodies on the other floor...?
[Some people would consider the long fingers a plus? Smh.]
Oh, yeah. That... [:eyes:] Well, half of the people here have horns, one of them is purple, and my neighbor is stuffed inside a cooler in my room. So I don't think you'll be winning any freak of the year awards anytime soon.
[A shrug!]
Next time someone calls you weird, tell them to fuck themselves. Or leave their favorite crackers open so they get stale.
Oh, yeah. That... [:eyes:] Well, half of the people here have horns, one of them is purple, and my neighbor is stuffed inside a cooler in my room. So I don't think you'll be winning any freak of the year awards anytime soon.
[A shrug!]
Next time someone calls you weird, tell them to fuck themselves. Or leave their favorite crackers open so they get stale.
Ohh... [She sucks in a breath through her teeth.] I haven't had someone beefy in weeks.
[Practically salivating. Terrible. Why did you let me app a mombie.]
Did they have it coming? I'm going to eat them tits to teeth, anyway. But, you know, I like when my dinner was sustainably farmed.
[Practically salivating. Terrible. Why did you let me app a mombie.]
Did they have it coming? I'm going to eat them tits to teeth, anyway. But, you know, I like when my dinner was sustainably farmed.
Nice.
[SMACKS HER LIPS AND RUBS HER GRUBBY HANDS TOGETHER. Does it count for the indulgence report if ordering dinner makes her horny. Please say no. I hate this.]
Okay, soooo... I know you asked for preferences, but what about deboned? Cartilage is fine. And— Oh, leave the teeth. They taste exactly like stale corn nuts, but I can't stop eating them.
[SMACKS HER LIPS AND RUBS HER GRUBBY HANDS TOGETHER. Does it count for the indulgence report if ordering dinner makes her horny. Please say no. I hate this.]
Okay, soooo... I know you asked for preferences, but what about deboned? Cartilage is fine. And— Oh, leave the teeth. They taste exactly like stale corn nuts, but I can't stop eating them.
[it counts.
they motion toward the foam cooler, as if giving permission.]
You may inspect the meat, if you would like. I can prepare it for you if you are satisfied. Not cooked, of course. With bones removed. Would you care for the blood to be drained as well?
I shall keep the teeth.
they motion toward the foam cooler, as if giving permission.]
You may inspect the meat, if you would like. I can prepare it for you if you are satisfied. Not cooked, of course. With bones removed. Would you care for the blood to be drained as well?
I shall keep the teeth.
[Cursed.
She squeals a little, clapping her hands.]
Oh, you can just leave the blood. I like it, and I can never have enough iron in my diet. [She will absolutely shimmy over to check out the meat, though. But as she does:] Has anyone told you you're the best lately? Because you totally deserve to hear that.
She squeals a little, clapping her hands.]
Oh, you can just leave the blood. I like it, and I can never have enough iron in my diet. [She will absolutely shimmy over to check out the meat, though. But as she does:] Has anyone told you you're the best lately? Because you totally deserve to hear that.
[in the darkness of the hood, there are two pleased, glowing orange eyes, and a smiling mouth full of mostly sharp teeth.]
Why no, not lately. But I thank you very much for the compliment, Mrs. Hammond. It is appreciated.
[inside the cooler is absolutely the large chunks of a person. male, sectioned at the joints so everything fits inside together. meaty? beefy. there's a lot of muscle on this dude everywhere. legs, arms, especially the chest. guess he has a nice penis, who am i to say it isn't. not a bruise or scratch on him. doesn't smell rotten.
both biceps and wrists have three pink bands. there isn't a head.]
Why no, not lately. But I thank you very much for the compliment, Mrs. Hammond. It is appreciated.
[inside the cooler is absolutely the large chunks of a person. male, sectioned at the joints so everything fits inside together. meaty? beefy. there's a lot of muscle on this dude everywhere. legs, arms, especially the chest. guess he has a nice penis, who am i to say it isn't. not a bruise or scratch on him. doesn't smell rotten.
both biceps and wrists have three pink bands. there isn't a head.]
Yeah- it's, um, kind of nice, honestly? To not just be 'the weird one' somewhere, I mean. It's kind of always been like that before.
[they shrug... but that last suggestion gets a giggle out of them.]
I'm not really much for the 'fuck you's? But- I'd definitely let their stuff get stale.
[they shrug... but that last suggestion gets a giggle out of them.]
I'm not really much for the 'fuck you's? But- I'd definitely let their stuff get stale.
[Yeah, she
is going to reach down and squeeze a bicep, biting her lip. Squeeze. Squeeze. Squeeze.]
God, he smells so good.
[Imagine if this is Hisoka. That would be the nicest thing anyone has said about Hisoka. She is still feeling the bicep up when she turns to Gluttony again, though, cocking an eyebrow.]
Where's his other head?
[Sheila.]
is going to reach down and squeeze a bicep, biting her lip. Squeeze. Squeeze. Squeeze.]
God, he smells so good.
[Imagine if this is Hisoka. That would be the nicest thing anyone has said about Hisoka. She is still feeling the bicep up when she turns to Gluttony again, though, cocking an eyebrow.]
Where's his other head?
[Sheila.]
[She grins.]
Yeah? It's so satisfying!
[Petty bitch solidarity! Her expression softens after a second, though, and she reaches over to gently bump their... shoulder area. Mystery anatomy. It's the thought that counts, maybe.]
But, hey... I kind of get it. Most people can't handle it when you're your best self. [This is a questionable pep talk.] Has anyone done that recently? I'll talk to them.
Yeah? It's so satisfying!
[Petty bitch solidarity! Her expression softens after a second, though, and she reaches over to gently bump their... shoulder area. Mystery anatomy. It's the thought that counts, maybe.]
But, hey... I kind of get it. Most people can't handle it when you're your best self. [This is a questionable pep talk.] Has anyone done that recently? I'll talk to them.
Most people can't handle it when I'm, you know, any kind of self.
[but the bump is encouraging, and they manage to give her a little smile.]
I don't think they have? I mean, I haven't talked to all of you, but I also don't know if anybody's avoiding me or not.
[but the bump is encouraging, and they manage to give her a little smile.]
I don't think they have? I mean, I haven't talked to all of you, but I also don't know if anybody's avoiding me or not.
[and here they are, in the rec room, should sheila accept the invitation.
they're flopped out on a beanbag chair with whipped cream in a spray can, and a bottle of unidentified booze, which they are just. alternating? please. they wave at her with the booze bottle.]
Hey, you. Enjoying yourself so far?
they're flopped out on a beanbag chair with whipped cream in a spray can, and a bottle of unidentified booze, which they are just. alternating? please. they wave at her with the booze bottle.]
Hey, you. Enjoying yourself so far?
That sounds like a them problem.
[Can't believe Sheila is going to go back to California and walk up to her husband like "hey I want to adopt an eldritch abomination of ambiguous age hope that's cool." Terrible.]
I'm just saying. The offer will still be there in the future. [She's gotta start building her list of reasons to kill a clown or two.] But now that we have established that some people are capable of such a specific form of cruelty— Wanna pick our other conversation back up?
[Can't believe Sheila is going to go back to California and walk up to her husband like "hey I want to adopt an eldritch abomination of ambiguous age hope that's cool." Terrible.]
I'm just saying. The offer will still be there in the future. [She's gotta start building her list of reasons to kill a clown or two.] But now that we have established that some people are capable of such a specific form of cruelty— Wanna pick our other conversation back up?
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