Audience: Sheila Hammond

[probe]

Comments

[probe]

[there is no longer an option because suddenly they have a dog. okay. they will take maus who whines a little and sticks his face inside greed's hood before greed sighs and goes to sit at the kitchen table we absolutely have.]

You could start talking beforehand. I believe you're well-versed in multitasking?

[this is also a kindness. truly.]

[toesies]

[i hope maus is okay after greed gets murdered tomorrow

But she huffs a little as she begins to look at the pantry.]

Yeah, and you're— so good at giving a single task everything you've got!

[That was not what she intended to say. Why won't kindness week let her judge them, smh.]

Any food allergies?

[probe]

[maus can be a seeing eye dog now. greed leans back in their chair and pets their dog, not quite watching sheila but facing her direction.]

I excel at everything possible. [haha. but...] No allergies that I'm aware of, no.

[toesies]

And so humble, too.

[She means it in a sarcastic way but it comes out kindly instead. Terrible. She will start to pull out ingredients? Greed will eat a sandwich and they will like it.]

Anyway... You were obviously listening in on our meeting from yesterday. On a scale of one to ten, how would you rate it?

[She had another question but I, Kyuu, forgot to write it down so it will come... later.]

[probe]

[i'm in tears. kyuu your question!!]

...a seven, maybe. Though thank you for at least pointing out that we ourselves are still trying to understand certain portions of this place. But the information starting to circulate now should be of use to you all.

[toesies]

[My question!! It will come back to me eventually.]

You're welcome! I've noticed a lot of people get super lit when they think you're just keeping answers from them. They could use a lesson in empathy.

[Making a sandwich... Briefly gagging when the smell hits her nose, until suddenly, something clicks. And she turns her head to frown at them.]

Wait, why only a seven?

[probe]

Some of us are, I'm sure, but likely because the questions people ask aren't relevant or they aren't asked in the right way. [which is its own thing.]

A seven is being generous. I only think there's always room for improvement. [yeah. they actually did fine, greed's just particular.] That, and there is still information that seems to be among you that has led you nowhere.

[toesies]

And let me guess... Asking for which information, specifically, wouldn't be the right way?

[Stop being particular... smh.]

[probe]

It's more...you're asking questions we don't have answers for, or seem to think there's more to the answer than what we can provide. There's only so much some of us can do.

[pets for maus.] All the more reason we continue to look into the new circumstances that arrive.

[toesies]

Gotcha... It's too bad we can't run a survey with this group. A top ten most asked questions would be good to weed out the useless crap. Bet it would help us figure out what we haven't looked into, too.

[She hums... La la la, sandwich making.]

By the way, consider this a parenthesis. Is there any way to cancel a curse?

[probe]

Nothing's stopping you from hosting a poll. Send a mass text, do whatever you think would be necessary to get answers. While you may not receive an answer from everyone I'm sure some would answer.

[sandwich making...pom petting...what a team.]

Cancel? Not exactly. Lessen? That's a bit more within our range of ability, though I believe it's only for those Avatars with control of whatever power was used. And some things must simply run their course. [...and then they sound...amused...]

Is this about Miss Nonagesimus and her affiliation with Claus?

[toesies]

... Huh. You know, you're right! I get the feeling most people wouldn't trust me with important info, but I could recruit some volunteers. [Vore club. She is talking about vore club.] Then they can ask their friends, and get back to me.

[A thought for Week 5, assuming they don't all drop dead or get killed this weekend. Whew.]

And yes, this is about Harrowhark. Don't tell me you find it funny. It's such a terrible thing to do to her!

[probe]

[kindness week means offering some actual suggestions.]

Precisely that. Establishing a chain of command and working down the line isn't a terrible idea and may in fact save you time and resources.

[but they shrug.] I think it's horrible but all the same...it could be much worse. She could be experiencing those feelings Tealeaf and White are dealing with.

[toesies]

... I'll keep it in mind. Thank you for the good advice?

[Truly shook by the fact this is an actual suggestion.]

God, don't remind me. Who the hell even decided how long these powers last?

[probe]

[there's a nod. you're welcome, sometimes they manage not to be an asshole and can actually help.]

I believe they vary, so I couldn't tell you. Most likely the longest it will last is until next week.

[toesies]

Ugh... Well, that's at least better than forever.

[As a prize for not being an asshole, here's a sandwich! It's like, a club sandwich or something.]

[probe]

[they examine this sandwich.]

...thank you? [they are not sure what to do with this sandwich, though maus is sniffing at it.]

But to be clear, I'm not entirely sure if there are powers that last forever. You would have to ask the specifics at the time of receipt.

[toesies]

Noted.

[And

a beat.]

You eat human food, don't you? Or did I just make a sandwich for the dog?

[probe]

[there's a soft sound.]

Despite appearances, I believe I may still be human. I do appreciate the effort.

[toesies]

... Oh, that came out the wrong way. Didn't it?

[probe]

No, not particularly. [this isn't even kindness week, this is just a fact.] I understand some people may actually think otherwise.

[toesies]

Well, have you considered telling those people to go fuck themselves?

[She is talking about hypothetical people. She's allowed to be rude.]

[probe]

[there's a pause and they hold up a clawed hand.]

Bit hard when the details are obvious. But I've other things to care about than what people think of me anyway.

[which may or may not be true, but who knows.]

[toesies]

Seems like a them problem for assuming all humans look the same! Diversity, motherfuckers.

[Fake it 'til you make it is a valid strategy, so she will not bully them this once.]

Assuming you didn't lie about your food allergies, though, you should eat.

[probe]

I suppose my questionable humanity wouldn't mean much to a zombie. [which is more of an observation than anything. so that said, they finally pick up the sandwich and take an overdramatic bite before seemingly giving her a Look. better?]