Audience: Sheila Hammond

[probe]

Comments

[toesies]

No... I don't think anyone feels bad for scapegoating him at all.

[Good riddance, roomba!]

Anyway— As much as I love talking shit about that bitch ass fucking piece of trash robot, there was something I wanted to ask you. You already know about the shit that happened to me last week, right? We also found some stuff, and we're kind of looking for their owners.

[probe]

I've heard about it from some of the others, yeah. What kind of stuff did you find?

[toesies]

Hang on— We took pictures!

[Don't ask me how the instant film photos are actually set up, but! She pulls out visual aid for the dagger, cat toy, orange stone and Monokuma from her titty pocket.]

We found hats, too, but... no amount of baking soda and vinegar could get the giant out of those.

[probe]

[give them a second to review the pictures that sheila pulls from her lady pocket. hm...okay, okay, fine, they should maybe be helpful but instead there's an immediate:]

Monokuma!

[toesies]

[i hate this so fucking much

but Sheila just stares at them blankly.]

Monowhat?

[probe]

[they reach forward with a pink-painted nail to tap on the picture.]

Monokuma. He's mine.

[and they tilt their head up a little to look at sheila.]

Soooo...where is he? Can I have him back?

[lmao.]

[toesies]

[While I, Kyuu, scream, Sheila will simply stare.]

Oh, that was quicker than I expected.

[Hooray?]

Totally! He's in my room. Wanna go back with me so we can grab him?

[probe]

Hm? Oh, I can tell you about the others, too, if you don't know by now. [they clap their hands together though, and when they speak their tone is a little lighter and more cheerful.]

But for sure! I've missed him so much! [they will step off of the platform, the heels of their shoes clicking on the ground as they walk forward.] Ready?

[toesies]

I haven't spoken to the people who have those since Saturday, so I might as well ask what you know. You know, for conversation.

[A nod, already turning on her heels as she speaks.]

I'm always ready. Come on.

[To room 11 they go...]

[probe]

[they follow! and as they walk, sheila may notice a few strands of pink hair slipping out from under their cloak, tied off into two twintails. they also seem to be moving on their own? hm.]

You seem pretty smart, Mrs. Hammond, so I'll give you some easy hints! What was the first thing you saw when you walked into the trial on Saturday?

[toesies]

[nearly a day later i still hate this]

Well... I saw Pride practicing their knife skills on—oh. I hear it now. [HUH.] Note to self, Pride loves their sharp objects.

[probe]

[:)]

Yeah. A sharp-tongued Avatar with a love of sharp objects. [they think they're hilarious.] Annnd the cat toy? That one should be easy, too, if you think about the trial.

[toesies]

Oh, no. We figured out the cat toy after that. Although, Gluttony may not be getting it back for a while.

[A loooong exhale like, whew. You would not believe the conversation she heard, Lust Enoshima. Anyway, elevator time...]

Apparently, they said some things that made the others upset. Now they're feeling vindictive and that's, you know, completely understandable. But it's such a bummer when people you like don't get along with each other.

[probe]

Tell me about it. That's how it is with Pride and Envy a lot of the time. [into the elevator!]

...Gluttony sometimes just says things in a way that they think is perfectly normal but it's actually. You know. Not? They probably don't think they did anything wrong anyway.

[toesies]

Yeah... I have noticed that. But I drink people through straws, so I'm not winning any awards for being totally normal anyway.

[She will excuse Gluttony's creepy ass... this once. Or maybe the elevator will crash again for excusing the creepy.]

[probe]

[that's true...unfortunately they do not crash and die.]

Maybe after a while they'll all just kind of forgive each other...? But it's not gonna help to purposefully keep the cat toy away from them. Think about the cats, Mrs. Hammond. They're totally innocent.

[toesies]

I know! That cat they brought with them for trial? It was so fucking adorable. I wish I could have pet it instead of having to totally fail at solving two murders.

[Pouting! As the elevator fails to kill them. Anyway, next stop: Sleep Bay.]

I guess I should talk to them soon? Maybe they've cooled down enough to think about returning it.

[probe]

Judas is soooo cute! All four of them are. You could always ask? Gluttony likes them probably more than they like most of the people here.

[thank you lust. but to the sleep bay!]

It might not hurt. It's a lot better to take care of it now than drag it out forever. Who knows what'll happen this week?

[toesies]

I don't blame them. Cats are fucking great! Did you know I wanted a cat after I wrestled one the other week? Although, I never did get around to asking for one...

[Down the corridor they go!]

Mm, I know. The evil robot may be gone now, but someone else did kill Kaz. So that's not great.

["What about Grell?" What about her? Anyway, she will walk up to her suite, so her phone unlocks the door. Whoosh...]

[probe]

You wrestled a cat? [sheila??????? but down the corridor they go!]

You do have a few unsolved cases left...and people are going to start getting more bold, I bet. So the easier things are amongst yourselves, the better.

[door goes whoosh! and inside they go, immediately looking for their cute and fluffy harmless stuffed bear.]

[toesies]

The tunnel of love. It had three heads!

[She will gesture at them to follow her upstairs, to the loft.]

Though, on the bright side... We have proven that we are so bad at solving murder that I might just get away with murdering a murderer somewhere down the line.

[If Lust follows her, Sheila will make a beeline for her closet! After digging through it for a hot second, she will pull out Lust's totally cute and harmless stuffed bear! She even got the dumpster dirt off it? You're welcome.]

Ta-da! [With a flourish.] Is this the bear you're looking for?

[probe]

Oh. That cat. [do not sound so nonchalant? but up to the loft they go!!]

If you can find a murderer to murder. Isn't that the part where you guys are having trouble in the first place? [just saying. but they wait for sheila and as soon as monokuma appears they clap.]

That's him! Thank you so much! [please give them bear.] I was afraid he wandered off on his own or something.

[toesies]

Hey, people like me. You never know when someone might let their guard down enough to let something slip.

[Let her be optimistic! But, bear time. She holds it out to them, so they can take it from her.]

Wandered off on his own? [A light snort.] How would he do that?

[probe]

That's true! Who knows? Maybe you'll get lucky then. [they will take bear.]

Sometimes things just happen, you know? Don't worry about it. [haha.] But since you held onto him for me, I think you should get something in return.

[toesies]

I think I'll worry a little about it. But you're so welcome!

[Nudging her closet door closed now that it's bear free. Truly hate everything about this.]

I did get the feeling it was important to someone. So it felt a little rude to throw him away, even if we did find him in a dumpster.