Audience: Sheila Hammond

[probe]

Comments

[toesies]

Wow.

[This 5'3" sassy... not child. Legal adult. Who is alcohol free, apparently. Sheila stares when they practice social distancing, but doesn't comment on it as she proceeds to unlock the door.]

Take a seat wherever, and I'll get the coffee started.

[probe]

[... they follow her in after a moment.

they sit in one of the chairs near the table, sprawling in it. they're super slouched. ]

[toesies]

[PRIDE, YOUR BACK...

Sheila will start prepping the coffee, only to pause halfway as she takes out A Single Cup.]

Do you take your coffee with cream? And if so, do you like it salty?

[probe]

Salty? [they sound vaguely baffled.]

A little cream is fine.

[toesies]

Yeah... My roommate pissed me off so I poured salt in his creamer, and I'm not sure if he fixed that. [Gently. Rattles whatever container the creamer is in.] Is a little cream still fine?

[probe]

[... oh no, they laugh at that. it's a very quiet, very huffy sort of sound, but it's a laugh!]

I'll pass. Plain is fine.

[toesies]

Plain, it is.

[This is the first emotion Pride has displayed that isn't "..." so she will take this as a win? Once the coffee is served, though, she sets it on the table in front of them along with whatever sugar is in Luca's stash. Sorry but not sorry, Luca.]

[probe]

[they pick it up to hold, but don't drink.

and just stare at her. poor sheila has to direct the conversation, it looks like.]

[toesies]

[yeah

she stares back

and after a beat:]

... Oh. So, this is what we're doing. [pride, please.] Sitting here. In silence. Neither one drinking.

[sheila, you do not have a cup.]

[probe]

You did not make yourself a drink.

But yes. That is what we're doing. [they're totally fine with silence.]

[toesies]

Well, stuffing pieces of people into a blender so I can drink them in front of a guest just seemed like terrible etiquette. [vrrrrrr...] You must great at negotiations.

[probe]

[stop making them laugh sheila wtf]

If I minded, I would have said. [...] You could say I'm fantastic at negotiations. Yes.

[toesies]

[No, she has to figure out how to do it on purpose now.]

Could?

[probe]

Should.

[they take a sip of coffee finally.]

[toesies]

[She clicks her tongue.]

Now it's should? Come on, tell me about your resume.

[probe]

Ever played ten fingers?

[toesies]

I don't think so. Why?

[probe]

It's a game, of sorts.

You place your hands out palm down on the table. I ask you ten questions. For every answer I don't like, I take a finger.

[... that's their resume, ig.]

[toesies]

Whoa!

[LEANING BACK A LITTLE.]

So you have work experience with the mafia. Got it! [Pride???] What's next? The floor is lava but you need to swim out of a pool filled with concrete?

[probe]

I'm not sure what concrete is.

[hm]

[toesies]

... Ohh...

[Slowly.]

Question. Do you, or do you not know, what a waffle is?

[probe]

I know what a waffle is.

[they say, flatly. this does not mean they necessarily have always known what a waffle is, though.]

[toesies]

But concrete is older than waffles?

[probe]

I've had waffles here. [:unamused:]

[toesies]

And not before. [:thinking:] There are so many people like that here, huh.