probe | Audience: Yuri Leclerc

it's called fifty shades but not fantasy anything

wait
firebird you've read this???

i've read the fantasy version which is probably just as bad
are you sitting and reading smut?
yuri!

it's funny, wrath. what am i meant to do, not read this nightmare?

i don't understand half of what's going on what even is a helicopter?

fair enough

helicopters are big metal birds
where are you i want to read over your shoulder

how do metal birds even fly...?

library, of course. i read my terrible smut in only the classiest of locations. ❤️🔥

[here she is, at the library! she nyooms, coming straight to him. if there is room to sit in his lap, she will?]

[ there is, and he will allow it. he'll move one hand's grip on the book to let her in before shifting his hold on the book so it's comfortable in one hand and he can support her with his other arm. ]

I found some truly appalling smutty parts, just for you.

Oh, yay. [she says, delighted, wrapping an arm around his shoulders to steady herself.]

Please, by all means! Read them.

[ this is going to be terrible and now i have to look up 50 shades quotes and they're all so bad. ]

Well to start....

"'Let me ask you something first. Do you want a regular vanilla relationship with no kinky fuckery at all?' My mouth drops open.
'Kinky fuckery?' I squeak. 'Kinky fuckery. I can't believe you said that.'
'Well, I did. Answer me,' he says calmly. I flush. My inner goddess is down on bended knee with her hands clasped in supplication begging me.
'I like your kinky fuckery,' I whisper."

... I don't know about you, but I certainly feel romanced.

Oh, for sure. That's romantic as hell!

[she cackles.] What about you, Yuri, do you like kinky fuckery?

That's how I'd confess to anyone I liked, for sure. [ the sarcasm. is real. ]

Who can say. I did wear a cat girl outfit for you, so maybe there's a inner beast in me waiting to come out. [ this is said. quite deadpan. ]

Your inner goddess, you mean.

[she laughs, shifting in his lap. she's like, extra affectionate today, pressing kisses against his jaw. don't worry about it.]

I'd like to see that cat girl outfit again, actually! Sometime.

My inner goddess would amazing in a cat eared headband.

[ he'll allow it. maybe there's something in the water, but he'll do the thing where he messes with her ear gently as well. ]

Anytime you want. Other outfits are also available.

[another laugh.]

Hmm, that's very tempting. What other outfits? Itemized list, bud, so we can work our way down it.

There's a very sexy cactus costume in one of the dra---

[ he snorts before he can finish. ]

No, I'm kidding. ... Hmm. There's the bunny bustier outfit -- you the ones with the tights, that look like some kind of bodysuit? A whole host of other maid outfits, and a couple of ones with weird looking hands and these metal circles that break really easier? [ police outfit. he's talking about a sexy police outfit. ]

Hah. A police outfit! Sexy police.

Well. [she noses at him again.] We can trade costumes.

... Is the concept of sexy just "less fabric" and "put sexy in front of the name"?

[ he'll tilts his head down to rest against hers for a moment, but shift so he can press some kisses to her jawline. ]

Oh? Which one were you planning on wearing?

That sounds about right actually. [she says, grinning. she also welcomes the return kisses, sighing happily.]

Hmm... maybe the sexy firewoman one?

[ this is really funny knowing she's just like 24/7 horny this week ]

... That's a little on the nose. [ he nips just under her ear. ] You'd have to actually find it because I have no idea what it'd look like.

[STOP SHE CAN'T HELP IT]

I feel like, uh, you know me well enough by now that on the nose is kind of my thing. [also, she just lets out a kind of obscene sigh at the nip to her ear. sorry about it.]

[ SHE CAN'T BUT IT'S VERY FUNNY. ]

I am aware. [ oh, that went down well. he will repeat it, nipping a little lower down her jawline this time. ]

... [ wait ] The other outfit, did you pick it just for the restraints that come with it? [ lup? ]

Maybe!

Wow, you have a dirty mind. [she says, as she's basically just letting him bite her. wrath please.]

[ he stops biting to look at her

and then tweak her nose. ]

You were thinking it first.

[another laugh, and she bites his fingers?]

Sure was!

Edited 2021-03-04 21:01 (UTC)

[ kinky. also ow. ]

Like I said, you'd have to dig out the firewoman's outfits. I wouldn't know it. But far beyond me to ruin your dress up dreams.

[ he'll just give her another kiss, under her chin. ]

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