imagine sloth having a legitimate deformed human just down in the underworld in the house of hades in his pocket. that's going to be what happens because of this.
he glances at the size of the fingers mahito shows. waow, so small.] Oh, tiny. Even smaller than baby humans! [hehe. "hehe" even though i forgot mahito literally said he'd get sloth some fleshy ones. I HATE IT HERE MOM]
You can really turn them into different shapes? Wow.
[STOP LOOK. IT'S yeah it's entirely Mahito's fault and i hate this. Mahito is genuinely just trying to give Sloth a nice thing and is a fucking alien about it for once, though, instead of being actively malicious. As he's found, interacting with non-human things doesn't trigger his Innate Curse Reflexes anywhere near as hard.]
Right? They're kinda cute, I think! [HELp] They turn pretty colors, too! And yeah, I can! [BEAMING. Someone please get Sloth away from MAHITO RIGHT NOW.
He holds his hands out, smushing Sloth's cheeks again.]
I can see and shape souls, after all! And the body just outlines the soul, so I can shape that, too. If you wanted a bird or a fox or a cat or even a bear or elephant or something, I could make one for you! I can make totally new shapes, too!
[once again, his cheeks are smooshed, and he doesn't do a single thing to stop it. he even has the nerve to feel pretty cheerful and even really shy about it? why not? it's the second time mahito has held his face.]
I don't know what hash of dose are! [foolish] Maybe... shometing you like? Den I can shink of you when I shee it!
["HAS THE NERVE" STOP BULLYING THIS MAN HE'S DONE NOTHING WRONG except for accepting a curse into his life, which is not his fault. Now they're just ouroboros-ing some good and cheerful vibes! Terrible.
At least he will stop smooshing Sloth's cheeks, though he leaves his little demon raccoon paws there for now.]
They're all animals, and they're pretty neat! Ah, it's hard for me to pick a favorite, though... I'll have to think about it! I mean, I'd have to wait until I can use my abilities again anyway, so I have some time.
[why is mahito just holding his face??? PLEASE I BEG YOU. he lets it happen. in fact, his chin sinks down in the hands a bit more, and his eyes lid themselves halfway. ahhh.
i'm waiting for the iota of humility and disgust, but none comes.]
Well, um, you have plenty of time to think about it! I don't mind waiting. I have all the time in the world! An eternity of time! Just getting a gift from you is... wow, really darn nice!
Aw, I wish I could have brought my ambrosia! We could have shared an illicit best friend drink!
[MAHITO DOES WHATEVER THE FUCK HE WANTS!! HE JUST DOES WHATEVER AND YALL LET HIM!!!! FOR 6 WEEKS THE LIVING LET HIM AND NOW THE DEAD ARE LETTING HIM!!
Mahito is just radiating the same sort of cozy vibes that a cat sitting in the sun on a windowsill would, gently stroking the sides of Sloth's face. every day my loathing for this flea grows.]
You're sweet. [And he's terrible!!] But I don't wanna keep you waiting too long! Even if you don't mind it, I'm not very patient. All the waiting I've had to do over these last few weeks almost killed me!
[SAID WITH A TWINKLE OF DEMON AMUSEMENT. Haha, dead jokes.]
Ooh, that's too bad, though - I'd love to share an illicit best friend drink! We don't have any ambrosia, but we do have alcohol? And meth.
Oh, I don't mind. Eternity always passes in, like, the blink of an eye! [sometimes you blink, and it's been 400 trillion years and the universe's very atoms are now decaying, leaving behind a void of nothing.] Well, if you come soon, that's even better!
[guess there is going to just be a feedback loop of cheerful friendly vibes. there's something dark inside of mahito? there's something dark in hypnos too because he's a chthonic god. it's fine. besties!]
Oh, alcohol? That sounds like a Dionysus sort of party! What's meth?
[THE SOUND OF ME RUNNING AT YOU WITH CLOWN SHOES ON]
Wow... You sound ancient! Hah, I'm gonna have to start calling you grandpa at this rate. [STOP STOP WE'RE NOT IN THE LICH UNIVERSE, GOD.
Anyway yeah it's fine, their cheerful feedback loop that absolutely won't end up taking a weird fucking turn because they are both Creatures of a sort. A curse and a chthonic god! Just some normal besties!! Can't believe everyone just left Sloth alone with a curse. Why do people keep leaving these perfectly good lads in Mahito's demon hands? Why does Mahito keep winning?
He moves one hand to gently tug at some of Sloth's hair, for no reason other than because it's there and because it's soft.]
Yeah! We have the wine for it. Probably not at the level a god would want, but, y'know. [Shrugs. AND THEN, CHEERFUL AS EVER:] It's a drug! It feels really nice and gives you a lot of energy.
[WOW. his face pops up a bit in mahito's palms. there isn't any anger so much as just earnest indignation.]
I'm not a grandparent at all! I'm a young god!
[as young as, like, sleep can be considering he's been around for eons. since the first things needed to sleep and shit!]
A drug...? Oh. Like my poppies, haha! [don't just HAHA. he doesn't seem to really mind the tugging outside of the fact his arms tighten some around mahito like he's bracing. the hair feels like... the way cotton-candy feels except denser sort of. if mahito tries to eat it, i'll kill you.] Wow, it really gives you energy! Maybe I can say awake.
[DON'T MAKE THAT FACE Mahito laughs and bongos his cheeks a little, like a terrible goblin.]
Hah! But you're the god of sleep, aren't you? Then you're as old as humanity! Ah, but it's okay - if it makes you feel any better, I've probably been around in some way since then, too.
[Ah, the cursed life... where part of you has probably been around long before you formed consciousness, like it was with your demon friends, but your consciousness only recently crawled out of the sewer.
STOP HE'S NOT GOING TO TRY EATING SLOTH'S HAIR even if it does feel like cotton candy... There's a little roll of intrigue through his emotions, but he will only gently tug for now. Wow who taught him the reflex of "brace when your hair is tugged" though, incredible.]
You mean opium? Kinda, yeah! But it does, it does - it lasts a while, too, so it's way better than coffee if you're after longevity. [N...NODDING. PLEASE DON'T LET HIM SEND SLOTH BACK TO THE AVATARS HIGH ON METH.]
Wow... we're really two skeletons in a crypt. I've never met anyone with so much in common except my twin brother!
[look. this sure is a game. he's been around wrath for a while. he probably learned more than just how to brace reflexively when his hair is being tugged on.]
Two skeletons in a crypt! [SAID WITH ENTHUSIASM. And then, quieter:] Bone besties...
[i fucking hate it here. For so many reasons, including all these brackets and Mahito himself. He will stop fussing with Sloth's hair for now, at least...]
Yeah! We gotta keep indulging or whatever, right? [He says, as if literally anything he does ISN'T indulgent. Anyway here comes the curse--] Wanna try with me?
[TOO LATE!! HE'S GOING TO TEACH HIM SHITPOSTS AND ALSO HOW TO DO DRUGS!!]
I'll make us some friendship bracelets that say that, if I can find the stuff I need!
[ONE SAYS BONE AND ONE SAYS BESTIES. JESUS CHRIST. Anyway he might crush Sloth's ribs a little since he sits up very suddenly, which puts his weight on his little demon arms that are still resting on Sloth.]
Yay, yay! It should be lots of fun! [Binch this thread is going to be the IC reason Mahito intentionally plans ahead and gives himself a much lower dose than Douman later.] How d'you wanna do it? There are tons of ways! We have pipes, needles, I got a baggie that's already crushed--
[HE'S JUST READY?? TO DO METH?? AT ANY GIVEN CHANCE????]
[just like wearing the lil friendship ring. besties.......... bonie...besties.
the air gets squeaked out of him like when you try to deflate the air out of a ziplock bag before you completely seal it. but he doesn't seem to be hurt, OR MIND. I WISH HE WOULD MIND AT LEAST A LITTLE. he doesn't.]
Um--which way is the best way? [why does HE JUST HAVE METH ON HIM??] Maybe the pipe will be like the bubble one!
[THEIR TOKENS OF FRIENDSHIP. B........bonie...besties. god do i hate it here.
I ALSO WISH HE WOULD MIND AT LEAST A LITTLE!! But it's fine, Mahito just laughs at the sound he makes and reaches up to ruffle his cotton candy hair.]
I dunno! You won't get the first rush if you snort it, so smoking would probably be better?
[He fucking reaches under the beach chair to pull out a bundle, which contains a BUNCH OF METH SUPPLIES (and also snacks) (i typed snakes first). There are two pipes since he's clearly planning on dragging other people into hell with him, along with a few syringes, a spoon, etc. do you understand how much i hate it here.]
[he just goes 😄 when his hair is ruffled. it doesn't stick up in different directions so much as it fluffs up because it's curly.]
Okay, no snorting! [he has no idea what the fuck meth is. thanatos is having a heart attack in another dimension.] It'll be like we're blowing bubbles, except when blowing the opposite way!
[Oh... RUFFLING IT AGAIN. There's a little bit of amused curiosity on his end as he watches it fluff. Cute...
Glad to be contributing to Thanatos' heart attacks, though. He'll get out a couple of pipes, though! And finally rolls back off of Sloth, so he can sit semi-upright.]
Will it not taste bad? [WHY IS HE ASKING SLOTH.] Hm... We'll see, I guess! It probably won't matter even if it does. Here - sit up, sit up!
[Gently nudging him with an elbow!! im not putting myself on any more fbi watch lists so i aint googlin this but he's preparing some gotdam flutes for them.]
[in one movement, he sits straight from the waist up. oh. his feetsies have roasted in the sun, but he doesn't even act like he notices when he draws his legs toward himself a bit for balance.]
Oh. I don't know! The bubbles did, so I'm hoping this doesn't!
[can't believe they are about to toast flutes of meth on dagon's beach in the damn graveyard.]
It'd be nice if you could blow bubbles while smoking it, though.
[WH DON'T JUST RISE FROM THE DEAD LIKE FRANKENSTEIN HELLO. JESUS.]
Oh! I hope it doesn't, too. That'd take some of the fun out of it, I think. [YOU THINK?? jesus do i fuckin hate it here. Anyway here take your goddamn meth flute, Sloth.]
If we had a bubble wand, you could blow bubbles with smoke in your mouth! Then when the bubbles pop, it leaves a little smoke-bubble in the air for a second. Cute, right?
{HE SAYS, WHILE HOLDING OUT THE LIGHTER TO SET SLOTH'S FLUTE UP. "Cute", says Mahito, one step away from getting Sloth high and strung out.]
[well, i just looked up stuff about smoking meth, and aki and i have had a great time losing our minds. if i go to prison for my googling crimes, please remember this thread.
sloth TAKES the PIPE.] Yeah, it would! [he is waiting patiently while mahito lights him up.] Really?! Oh no! I wish we had bubbles, so I could try that! It'd be really amazing!
I can show my brother when I get back home.
[imagine going back to thanatos with a crack pipe and a bottle of bubbles before a flea raccoon crawls out of the styx pool 100 years later.
WELL, this thread can only get more worse. BOTTOM'S UP. he takes way too long and big of a hit of the fucking pipe because he doesn't know any better. goodbye.]
[THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN AND THAN WILL JUST HAVE TO FUCKING DEAL WITH HIS TWEAKING BROTHER AND THIS DRUG DEALING IMMORTAL FLEA RACCOON.]
Oh...
[Is the only thing he says at first, when he sees just how big of a first hit Sloth has taken. He's realizing he should have probably given more instruction! Haha, whoops.
This should be hilarious, though. Also he's abandoning his own flute because he's apparently decided he wants to share?? He holds a hand out for Sloth's.]
[thanks to google, meth apparently tastes EXTREMELY bad when you smoke it. so the first thing sloth does it let out a ragged, barking cough in another direction while making the worst disgusted and sour face in the entire universe.
as he is handing over the flute for mahito. your turn, enjoy hell.]
Mahito is also looking extremely hesitant now?! BINCH. DON'T JUST REACT LIKE THAT AND THEN HAND HIM THE FUCKIN FLUTE. He's squinting at it and then squinting at Sloth.]
You look like you licked a toilet in a public bathroom...
[He will
hesitantly?? Bring the pipe to his mouth??? And take a tiny toke??? It is so much less than Sloth, partially for the hilarity of it and partially so Mahito doesn't OD because timeline shenanigans means he's taking a for-real dose in like 5 hours.
Anyway he's absolutely going through the same process of almost dying from the hideousness of the taste. PLEASE HOLD AS HE COUGHS AND LEANS OVER TO SPIT ON THE SAND.]
[please understand that sloth is still fucking choking on the smoke and also the hideous taste, but there is just something deeply satisfying about someone else going through the exact same process as you when it's bad.
and so he starts wheeze cackling. oh my god, he's high as fuck already. he wheezes right off the side of the chair and falls over into the sand with his feet still stuck up on the side of it.
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imagine sloth having a legitimate deformed human just down in the underworld in the house of hades in his pocket. that's going to be what happens because of this.
he glances at the size of the fingers mahito shows. waow, so small.] Oh, tiny. Even smaller than baby humans! [hehe. "hehe" even though i forgot mahito literally said he'd get sloth some fleshy ones. I HATE IT HERE MOM]
You can really turn them into different shapes? Wow.
[STOP MAKING SLOTH EVIL]
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Right? They're kinda cute, I think! [HELp] They turn pretty colors, too! And yeah, I can! [BEAMING. Someone please get Sloth away from MAHITO RIGHT NOW.
He holds his hands out, smushing Sloth's cheeks again.]
I can see and shape souls, after all! And the body just outlines the soul, so I can shape that, too. If you wanted a bird or a fox or a cat or even a bear or elephant or something, I could make one for you! I can make totally new shapes, too!
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[once again, his cheeks are smooshed, and he doesn't do a single thing to stop it. he even has the nerve to feel pretty cheerful and even really shy about it? why not? it's the second time mahito has held his face.]
I don't know what hash of dose are! [foolish] Maybe... shometing you like? Den I can shink of you when I shee it!
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At least he will stop smooshing Sloth's cheeks, though he leaves his little demon raccoon paws there for now.]
They're all animals, and they're pretty neat! Ah, it's hard for me to pick a favorite, though... I'll have to think about it! I mean, I'd have to wait until I can use my abilities again anyway, so I have some time.
[Time to plan this HORRENDOUS GIFT.]
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i'm waiting for the iota of humility and disgust, but none comes.]
Well, um, you have plenty of time to think about it! I don't mind waiting. I have all the time in the world! An eternity of time! Just getting a gift from you is... wow, really darn nice!
Aw, I wish I could have brought my ambrosia! We could have shared an illicit best friend drink!
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Mahito is just radiating the same sort of cozy vibes that a cat sitting in the sun on a windowsill would, gently stroking the sides of Sloth's face. every day my loathing for this flea grows.]
You're sweet. [And he's terrible!!] But I don't wanna keep you waiting too long! Even if you don't mind it, I'm not very patient. All the waiting I've had to do over these last few weeks almost killed me!
[SAID WITH A TWINKLE OF DEMON AMUSEMENT. Haha, dead jokes.]
Ooh, that's too bad, though - I'd love to share an illicit best friend drink! We don't have any ambrosia, but we do have alcohol? And meth.
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Oh, I don't mind. Eternity always passes in, like, the blink of an eye! [sometimes you blink, and it's been 400 trillion years and the universe's very atoms are now decaying, leaving behind a void of nothing.] Well, if you come soon, that's even better!
[guess there is going to just be a feedback loop of cheerful friendly vibes. there's something dark inside of mahito? there's something dark in hypnos too because he's a chthonic god. it's fine. besties!]
Oh, alcohol? That sounds like a Dionysus sort of party! What's meth?
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Wow... You sound ancient! Hah, I'm gonna have to start calling you grandpa at this rate. [STOP STOP WE'RE NOT IN THE LICH UNIVERSE, GOD.
Anyway yeah it's fine, their cheerful feedback loop that absolutely won't end up taking a weird fucking turn because they are both Creatures of a sort. A curse and a chthonic god! Just some normal besties!! Can't believe everyone just left Sloth alone with a curse. Why do people keep leaving these perfectly good lads in Mahito's demon hands? Why does Mahito keep winning?
He moves one hand to gently tug at some of Sloth's hair, for no reason other than because it's there and because it's soft.]
Yeah! We have the wine for it. Probably not at the level a god would want, but, y'know. [Shrugs. AND THEN, CHEERFUL AS EVER:] It's a drug! It feels really nice and gives you a lot of energy.
[Methito... he's out here.]
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I'm not a grandparent at all! I'm a young god!
[as young as, like, sleep can be considering he's been around for eons. since the first things needed to sleep and shit!]
A drug...? Oh. Like my poppies, haha! [don't just HAHA. he doesn't seem to really mind the tugging outside of the fact his arms tighten some around mahito like he's bracing. the hair feels like... the way cotton-candy feels except denser sort of. if mahito tries to eat it, i'll kill you.] Wow, it really gives you energy! Maybe I can say awake.
Have you tried some?
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Hah! But you're the god of sleep, aren't you? Then you're as old as humanity! Ah, but it's okay - if it makes you feel any better, I've probably been around in some way since then, too.
[Ah, the cursed life... where part of you has probably been around long before you formed consciousness, like it was with your demon friends, but your consciousness only recently crawled out of the sewer.
STOP HE'S NOT GOING TO TRY EATING SLOTH'S HAIR even if it does feel like cotton candy... There's a little roll of intrigue through his emotions, but he will only gently tug for now. Wow who taught him the reflex of "brace when your hair is tugged" though, incredible.]
You mean opium? Kinda, yeah! But it does, it does - it lasts a while, too, so it's way better than coffee if you're after longevity. [N...NODDING. PLEASE DON'T LET HIM SEND SLOTH BACK TO THE AVATARS HIGH ON METH.]
Not yet! But I already know what it's like.
[Inherent knowledge baybee.]
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[look. this sure is a game. he's been around wrath for a while. he probably learned more than just how to brace reflexively when his hair is being tugged on.]
Oh! Are you going to try some...?
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[i fucking hate it here. For so many reasons, including all these brackets and Mahito himself. He will stop fussing with Sloth's hair for now, at least...]
Yeah! We gotta keep indulging or whatever, right? [He says, as if literally anything he does ISN'T indulgent. Anyway here comes the curse--] Wanna try with me?
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[don't teach him shitposts on top of what he's already learned from lust and wrath.]
Well, um--yeah! I'll try some with you! It'll be great having more energy!
[and also wild, unbridled god energy. goodbye any lingering crumb of sanity the graveyard might be clinging to right now. it's going to be gone.]
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I'll make us some friendship bracelets that say that, if I can find the stuff I need!
[ONE SAYS BONE AND ONE SAYS BESTIES. JESUS CHRIST. Anyway he might crush Sloth's ribs a little since he sits up very suddenly, which puts his weight on his little demon arms that are still resting on Sloth.]
Yay, yay! It should be lots of fun! [Binch this thread is going to be the IC reason Mahito intentionally plans ahead and gives himself a much lower dose than Douman later.] How d'you wanna do it? There are tons of ways! We have pipes, needles, I got a baggie that's already crushed--
[HE'S JUST READY?? TO DO METH?? AT ANY GIVEN CHANCE????]
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[just like wearing the lil friendship ring. besties.......... bonie...besties.
the air gets squeaked out of him like when you try to deflate the air out of a ziplock bag before you completely seal it. but he doesn't seem to be hurt, OR MIND. I WISH HE WOULD MIND AT LEAST A LITTLE. he doesn't.]
Um--which way is the best way? [why does HE JUST HAVE METH ON HIM??] Maybe the pipe will be like the bubble one!
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[THEIR TOKENS OF FRIENDSHIP. B........bonie...besties. god do i hate it here.
I ALSO WISH HE WOULD MIND AT LEAST A LITTLE!! But it's fine, Mahito just laughs at the sound he makes and reaches up to ruffle his cotton candy hair.]
I dunno! You won't get the first rush if you snort it, so smoking would probably be better?
[He fucking reaches under the beach chair to pull out a bundle, which contains a BUNCH OF METH SUPPLIES (and also snacks) (i typed snakes first). There are two pipes since he's clearly planning on dragging other people into hell with him, along with a few syringes, a spoon, etc. do you understand how much i hate it here.]
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Okay, no snorting! [he has no idea what the fuck meth is. thanatos is having a heart attack in another dimension.] It'll be like we're blowing bubbles, except when blowing the opposite way!
And it doesn't taste as bad!
[he doesn't know if meth tastes bad or not.]
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Glad to be contributing to Thanatos' heart attacks, though. He'll get out a couple of pipes, though! And finally rolls back off of Sloth, so he can sit semi-upright.]
Will it not taste bad? [WHY IS HE ASKING SLOTH.] Hm... We'll see, I guess! It probably won't matter even if it does. Here - sit up, sit up!
[Gently nudging him with an elbow!! im not putting myself on any more fbi watch lists so i aint googlin this but he's preparing some gotdam flutes for them.]
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Oh. I don't know! The bubbles did, so I'm hoping this doesn't!
[can't believe they are about to toast flutes of meth on dagon's beach in the damn graveyard.]
It'd be nice if you could blow bubbles while smoking it, though.
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Oh! I hope it doesn't, too. That'd take some of the fun out of it, I think. [YOU THINK?? jesus do i fuckin hate it here. Anyway here take your goddamn meth flute, Sloth.]
If we had a bubble wand, you could blow bubbles with smoke in your mouth! Then when the bubbles pop, it leaves a little smoke-bubble in the air for a second. Cute, right?
{HE SAYS, WHILE HOLDING OUT THE LIGHTER TO SET SLOTH'S FLUTE UP. "Cute", says Mahito, one step away from getting Sloth high and strung out.]
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sloth TAKES the PIPE.] Yeah, it would! [he is waiting patiently while mahito lights him up.] Really?! Oh no! I wish we had bubbles, so I could try that! It'd be really amazing!
I can show my brother when I get back home.
[imagine going back to thanatos with a crack pipe and a bottle of bubbles before a flea raccoon crawls out of the styx pool 100 years later.
WELL, this thread can only get more worse. BOTTOM'S UP. he takes way too long and big of a hit of the fucking pipe because he doesn't know any better. goodbye.]
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Oh...
[Is the only thing he says at first, when he sees just how big of a first hit Sloth has taken. He's realizing he should have probably given more instruction! Haha, whoops.
This should be hilarious, though. Also he's abandoning his own flute because he's apparently decided he wants to share?? He holds a hand out for Sloth's.]
Whatcha think? How is it?
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as he is handing over the flute for mahito. your turn, enjoy hell.]
I...t...! It's.... not......... ambrosia!
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Mahito is also looking extremely hesitant now?! BINCH. DON'T JUST REACT LIKE THAT AND THEN HAND HIM THE FUCKIN FLUTE. He's squinting at it and then squinting at Sloth.]
You look like you licked a toilet in a public bathroom...
[He will
hesitantly?? Bring the pipe to his mouth??? And take a tiny toke??? It is so much less than Sloth, partially for the hilarity of it and partially so Mahito doesn't OD because timeline shenanigans means he's taking a for-real dose in like 5 hours.
Anyway he's absolutely going through the same process of almost dying from the hideousness of the taste. PLEASE HOLD AS HE COUGHS AND LEANS OVER TO SPIT ON THE SAND.]
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and so he starts wheeze cackling. oh my god, he's high as fuck already. he wheezes right off the side of the chair and falls over into the sand with his feet still stuck up on the side of it.
he's still laughing, though. he can't move.]
It tastes... like.. licking brimstone!
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