Audience: Harrowhark Nonagesimus

[probe]

Comments

[bonetiddies]

[What you're describing is being able to healthily discuss feelings, and that is not her sin.

Anyway, that's intriguing.]

Yes, you may.

[probe]

I don't, uh.

[a sigh.] I don't... know if I have it in me to encourage it. I think all of us have different opinions, but I can't - it didn't sit well with me. Everything that happened.

I'm a real piece of garbo sometimes, boo, but even that, uh, that is a little much for me.

[bonetiddies]

[Oh, Wrath. She. . . she vibes with this so much.]

It isn't only a matter of morality. . . There is what is practical, and then there is what you can live with. Some people can take a life without feeling the weight of it. I never could. I'm. . . a real piece of garbo sometimes, too, but I think of the lives that have been given for me every day I continue to breathe.

If you can't live with it, either, I don't advise that you push yourself to try.

[probe]

[they're quiet for a moment, glancing off to the side.]

Mmmyeah. I might have to live with it, whether I feel like it or not. Even if it goes against everything my heart is telling me. [they fold their arms across their chest.] But - I appreciate what you're saying.

[bonetiddies]

Then can you at least tell me why it is that you feel you must?

[She's serious, clasping her hands in her lap.]

If you feel the way you do, and yet you feel that you have no choice, I'm inclined to believe you.

[probe]

[a slow, steadying breath.]

I don't think I can tell you, no. Sorry, Harrowhark. [...] Can you make sure that stays a secret, for a while?

[bonetiddies]

Yes.

[She shouldn't promise that, probably - not if it's as important as that. But what Wrath confessed to her, those doubts, hit home in a way. She wants to honor that trust in her, at least.]

But when the time comes that you feel that you can say more, I expect to hear it from you.

[probe]

[that makes them laugh a little. they stand up, very deliberately walk across the room, slowly bring their hands up to rest on harrow's shoulders, and lean forward. it's a little weird because of the hood, but they are definitely going to kiss harrow on the forehead! they're trying to really make it obvious that they're going to do it.]

Sure. You'll be the first person I tell. [they say, affectionately, after they lean back.]

[bonetiddies]

[Oh my god. She's being forehead smooched so many times. Does Wrath have femme vibes or masc vibes because that will determine whether she blushes or whether she slaps them. I'm joking. . . or am I? Either way, she doesn't stop them, she's just a little thrown.]

Why. . . ? I can't understand you, you know.

[probe]

[she deserves every smooch. also i'm not telling you that, it's a mystery.]

Ha, if I had a gold piece for every time I heard that one. [they let go, gently.] You're a better person than you think.

[bonetiddies]

[It just wrecks her a little, because they know all about her and her completely fucked up life, and she can't think of one thing she's ever done that would make someone say something like that. Surely anyone who's seen her story the way they have knows the truth - what a brittle exoskeleton around such an emptiness.

She hunches her shoulders a little, stubborn, because being angry about it is easier than contemplating the idea of being known and accepted.]

If you insist on thinking so.

[probe]

[well. they know something about it being easier to be angry, at least.]

I do. I can believe it until you believe it yourself.

[bonetiddies]

[She pauses for a long moment, not sure what to say to any of that.]

May I ask you a favor?

[probe]

For sure, what's up?

[bonetiddies]

[. . . She's a little embarrassed.]

Might I hear you play?

[probe]

[aw, harrow. there's a glint of teeth from under the hood - they're smiling.]

Haha, of course you can. Never going to pass up a chance to show off. Any requests? [they reach over for the violin again.]

[bonetiddies]

I doubt you'll know any songs I do. Nor do I care to hear any I know. Play me something you enjoy playing.

[probe]

[for a moment, they think about it, and then, they start playing. obviously without the piano accompaniment, but.

their face is hidden, but they are very clearly in the music. they lose themselves to it, all the way through.]

[bonetiddies]

[Wow. She just sort of relaxes, listening to the music, obviously appreciating it - Wrath is talented, it's hard not to enjoy hearing it.]

[probe]

[when they come to a stop, finally, they sigh out slow, relaxing themselves.]

... It's good to know I'm not super out of practice. [they say, glancing over at harrow.]

[bonetiddies]

Not at all. Your playing is beautiful. You're very talented.

[probe]

[something under their hood twitches.]

Aw, thanks. Sweet of you. [they hold the violin very gently, almost like cradling a baby.]

Do you play anything?

[bonetiddies]

Not unless you count bones.

[A wry smile at that? Does that even count as a joke?]

We don't go in much for the arts on the Ninth, I'm afraid. The closest we come are the cloister bells and the hymnals of the black anchorites.

[probe]

[that makes them laugh, though.]

Bet you'd be great at the xylophone. [harrow is not going to recognize the bar of spooky scary skeletons that they play on the violin, but they do it regardless.] Wow, sounds pretty uh, Fantasy Catholic of you.

[bonetiddies]

Fantasy Catholic?

[What an odd thing to say.]

Well, we are a religious order.