Audience: Sheila Hammond

[probe]

Comments

[toesies]

... No, hold on! She was with us before we starved. We ran out of the room we first woke up in, and found her. We weren't even peckish yet.

[probe]

Let me ask you something, Mrs. Hammond. When you found yourself in the common room last week, or even in the medical bay this week on Thursday evening, was everything that you experienced actually real? Or was it only real to you and not really there at all?

[toesies]

[blank staring

she is but a simple milf with half of a braincell. greed, please.]

So, now you're saying all of it was a hallucination?

[probe]

It's a possibility, given the circumstances of this base.

[toesies]

Oh.

[Give her a second to stare off into the distance. It's fine.]

Okay, but. Wait. How can hallucinations hurt us? Hallucinations are, by definition, not real. And those injuries were very fucking real.

[probe]

In the same manner that some of you were coated in blood after spending the night in the kitchen and yet the blood was unseen by everyone else.

[toesies]

Yeah... I still don't understand what the fuck was up with that. [her brain... hurts.] Are we in a Matrix knock-off and that's why you keep talking about recalibration?

[probe]

...Mrs. Hammond, with all due respect now you're starting to veer off into ridiculous logic.

[toesies]

The kitchen walls bled and a mob of giant tried to eat me, but that's what you find ridiculous?

[probe]

Unfortunately I've seen a great deal of ridiculous things in my career.

[toesies]

And yet, my theory is ridiculous? Raise the bar even higher, man.

[probe]

[they shrug with both hands, shaking their head a little.]

Can you blame me for finding it to be a bit farfetched?

[toesies]

I think we have very different definitions of farfetched.

[probe]

Perhaps. [but oh well.]

Regardless, I'm afraid you won't be able to return to that place, so perhaps it's best to set your sights elsewhere.

[toesies]

... Sure.

[Unconvinced, but. Okay.]

Do you think another "error" like that will happen again?

[probe]

Unless a source is found? Possibly. Though I can't guarantee it will be the same four people.

[toesies]

Oh, that's no good. Do you think a source will be found at all? No offense, but you guys are juggling a lot of knives at once.

[probe]

Unfortunately I cannot say.

[toesies]

Yeah... Should have expected that answer. Are your noodles good?

[probe]

With time, Mrs. Hammond, I'm sure you'll find what answers are and not important here. [but they nod.] For being from a machine, they're...passable.

[they are still eating them though.]

[toesies]

We'll see. I'm starting to think a lot of the things you'll actually answer are counterintuitive.

[SHE HUFFS...]

And yet, you're still eating them. Are you used to making them yourself?

[probe]

You think so? [sheila...but they focus on the noodles.]

But no, I am not. It's been some time since I've cooked for myself.

[toesies]

[Sticks her tongue out at them! Before slurping some more corpse juice.]

Really? I thought you would cook for yourself more often after what you said about the vending machines.

[probe]

More often than not I don't really have the time. My schedule is usually very...busy.

[they will ignore that she's sticking her tongue out and also the corpse juice.]

[toesies]

Have you tried meal prepping? It's worked wonders for me.

[sorry that her dietary restrictions.]