Audience: Sheila Hammond

[probe]

Comments

[toesies]

Oh.

[Give her a second to stare off into the distance. It's fine.]

Okay, but. Wait. How can hallucinations hurt us? Hallucinations are, by definition, not real. And those injuries were very fucking real.

[probe]

In the same manner that some of you were coated in blood after spending the night in the kitchen and yet the blood was unseen by everyone else.

[toesies]

Yeah... I still don't understand what the fuck was up with that. [her brain... hurts.] Are we in a Matrix knock-off and that's why you keep talking about recalibration?

[probe]

...Mrs. Hammond, with all due respect now you're starting to veer off into ridiculous logic.

[toesies]

The kitchen walls bled and a mob of giant tried to eat me, but that's what you find ridiculous?

[probe]

Unfortunately I've seen a great deal of ridiculous things in my career.

[toesies]

And yet, my theory is ridiculous? Raise the bar even higher, man.

[probe]

[they shrug with both hands, shaking their head a little.]

Can you blame me for finding it to be a bit farfetched?

[toesies]

I think we have very different definitions of farfetched.

[probe]

Perhaps. [but oh well.]

Regardless, I'm afraid you won't be able to return to that place, so perhaps it's best to set your sights elsewhere.

[toesies]

... Sure.

[Unconvinced, but. Okay.]

Do you think another "error" like that will happen again?

[probe]

Unless a source is found? Possibly. Though I can't guarantee it will be the same four people.

[toesies]

Oh, that's no good. Do you think a source will be found at all? No offense, but you guys are juggling a lot of knives at once.

[probe]

Unfortunately I cannot say.

[toesies]

Yeah... Should have expected that answer. Are your noodles good?

[probe]

With time, Mrs. Hammond, I'm sure you'll find what answers are and not important here. [but they nod.] For being from a machine, they're...passable.

[they are still eating them though.]

[toesies]

We'll see. I'm starting to think a lot of the things you'll actually answer are counterintuitive.

[SHE HUFFS...]

And yet, you're still eating them. Are you used to making them yourself?

[probe]

You think so? [sheila...but they focus on the noodles.]

But no, I am not. It's been some time since I've cooked for myself.

[toesies]

[Sticks her tongue out at them! Before slurping some more corpse juice.]

Really? I thought you would cook for yourself more often after what you said about the vending machines.

[probe]

More often than not I don't really have the time. My schedule is usually very...busy.

[they will ignore that she's sticking her tongue out and also the corpse juice.]

[toesies]

Have you tried meal prepping? It's worked wonders for me.

[sorry that her dietary restrictions.]

[probe]

Not all of us can sustain ourselves with blenders, Mrs. Hammond. [but at least they sound somewhat amused.] That would require having additional hours to be used to prep. I don't have those.

[toesies]

Hey, my daughter doesn't drink people through straws.

[She says, like she has meal prepped in the last few weeks. It's fine.]

What keeps you so busy, anyway? Keeping an eye on us can't take that much time.

[probe]

Work, mostly. [they set the noodles down and fold their arms over their chest.] Habit. Countless other things that require attention that no one else takes seriously.

[toesies]

... Are you sure you aren't working yourself to the ground for no reason? That was very workaholic of you.