Audience: Sheila Hammond

[probe]

Comments

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I have literally nothing else to say for myself, okay, he's hot and I am not immune to a cute guy who is actually miraculously interested. Besides, he's not that bad?

[a pause.]

Okay, he's a bad roommate, specifically, but I am also a bitch to people sometimes recently so I don't think I can judge it too much.

[toesies]

He's a terrible roommate. And I still think you could do so much better? But I get it. Your engine, your choice.

[A beat.]

Also, a text will be appreciated the next time. Just saying.

[She has apparently accepted there is going to be A Next Time.]

[probe]

I mean, I've always more or less taken what I can get and I don't see a reason to stop doing that now.

[they shrug... it's just how things are? it's how they are.]

But, um, I promise I'm going to text next time.

[toesies]

Thank you. And again, not mad.

[Just disappointed in literally every single person who has fucked Luca. Everyone, your bad taste!!]

Anyway— I believe I promised you food.

[probe]

Oh, right-! I can make you something too? How do your, uh, dietary restrictions work, can you eat anything else or do I need to bother Gluttony...?

[toesies]

No, just the one thing. [...] Or, the one species. I guess? But that's alright because I brought a smoothie.

[Holds up a smoothie cup! Has she been carrying it all this time and I forgot to mention it? Maybe so.]

Thank you for offering, though. It's very nice of you.

[probe]

Is it only raw? Because I can definitely still work with that, sometime.

[he is way too earnest about this.]

[toesies]

... You know, I don't think I've ever tried cooked. It just tastes so good when it's juicy and fresh off the bone.

[his earnestness has been repaid with tmi]

[probe]

Oh! I can work with that, then. I can make sure it stays juicy, I'm just gonna have to slow-cook it.

[they might already be making plans in their head. terrible.]

[toesies]

Huh. I'm intrigued. What do you have in mind?

[this is the worst thing to happen to us.]

[probe]

Well, it'd depend on the cut of meat too, so I'll have to see what I could even get my hands on before I work on specifics-- but probably a slow roast kind of thing. I'll leave any additional ingredients out, it probably isn't that different from pork.... everybody else I've known with your diet always ate it raw too, I've never gotten to experiment before.

[they might

actually be slightly excited about this. i hate them.]

[toesies]

[this is so much

but sheila blinks as they get to the end — holding up a hand.]

Wait. Hold on. You know other people like me?

[probe]

Mhm! Usually they're a little different, they tend to be vampires? But vampires can eat raw flesh along with the blood, and bones are pretty good for them also.

[toesies]

Oh! So less like me, and more like Lenore.