Audience: Sheila Hammond

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Comments

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Is that so. [even-tempered, greed sets the shotglass back down.] And what might those reasons be?

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I want to get to know you. As a person. Obviously?

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Obviously. [they sound a bit baffled but calm.] ...how are you finding this place, Mrs. Hammond?

[this is not what sheila wanted but here we are.]

[toesies]

[It is absolutely not what she wanted, but she will roll with it.]

It's nice! [...] Nice-ish. Honestly could do without the horror movie sets on the other floor. But if that's what one of you is into, good for you!

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I believe the phrase is "your kinks are not my kinks"? [they sound so awkward saying it, but they shrug.] I can't claim to understand that floor myself, nor will I attempt to.

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See, I didn't want to call it a kink. But if that's what it is...?

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[there's a sigh that almost sounds irritated.]

I hardly know what anyone considers a kink in this place, and quite frankly I'm not sure I want to know.

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Yeah... There was that thing with the raw steaks and cheese, wasn't there?

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Indeed. Did you ever find out the source? [they know, but they're curious if sheila ever found out.]

[toesies]

Nope. But I have some words for them if I ever do.

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Though I would love to be the one to point you in the right direction, we still cannot interfere with "indulgence." [they way they grumble that last word seems to indicate they do not agree with any of these people.]

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[She just

solemnly nods with this face

and tops them off.]

Here. This might help.

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[...they seem like they might say no, but honestly, never mind. down it goes. two shots won't hurt.]

Thank you.

[toesies]

You're so welcome!

[Pours herself a second shot, as well as a third for them if they put the glass down.]

Now, enough about me and the food-related paraphilia of the people we live with. Tell me something about yourself.

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[they put the glass down but they don't immediately take the third shot. no. they are just going to wait and they seem to be staring at sheila from under the hood.]

There isn't much to tell, I'm afraid.

[toesies]

Not much isn't the same as nothing. Come on, don't be so stingy— even if that's totally your thing.

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[they debate an answer.]

I'm 28.

[toesies]

Oh. Well, that's nice? [She did not expect this fun fact.] How are you enjoying your twenties?

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They are...adequate.

[i am so sorry sheila.]

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Adequate because you don't want to talk about it? Or adequate because they suck— in which case, sorry for asking?

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Adequate in that they will suffice and they aren't of any particular importance. [so no need to apologize.]

[toesies]

Man... You never lighten up, do you?

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I've been told it's charming. [this is said just flatly enough it passes as a joke, and there's a slight glint from under their hood.]

[toesies]

People's tastes are so varied...

[Greed, your sense of humor.]

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Shall we make this about your taste instead? [and take the subject off of them?]