probe | Audience: Sheila Hammond

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Audience: Sheila Hammond

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You're so welcome!

[Pours herself a second shot, as well as a third for them if they put the glass down.]

Now, enough about me and the food-related paraphilia of the people we live with. Tell me something about yourself.

[they put the glass down but they don't immediately take the third shot. no. they are just going to wait and they seem to be staring at sheila from under the hood.]

There isn't much to tell, I'm afraid.

Not much isn't the same as nothing. Come on, don't be so stingy— even if that's totally your thing.

[they debate an answer.]

I'm 28.

Oh. Well, that's nice? [She did not expect this fun fact.] How are you enjoying your twenties?

They are...adequate.

[i am so sorry sheila.]

Adequate because you don't want to talk about it? Or adequate because they suck— in which case, sorry for asking?

Adequate in that they will suffice and they aren't of any particular importance. [so no need to apologize.]

Man... You never lighten up, do you?

I've been told it's charming. [this is said just flatly enough it passes as a joke, and there's a slight glint from under their hood.]

People's tastes are so varied...

[Greed, your sense of humor.]

Shall we make this about your taste instead? [and take the subject off of them?]

Didn't we just stop talking about me?

You are the participant here, aren't you? I should think everything would be about you.

Isn't that more of a Pride thing?

No, that would be talking about yourself senselessly and with arrogance. There's a difference.

Ohh... I am sensing some bad blood.

Hardly. [and because sheila has enough patience to still be here:] Pride is one of the slightly more tolerable of them to work with.

Huh. That is the second nicest thing I've heard about Pride all week.

And probably two too many for what they actually would prefer. [they shake their head.] But I do make it a habit to know about my...co-workers.

You don't consider any of them a friend?

[........

they shrug.]

Perhaps. Our situation is a bit different.

In what way? A friend is a friend wherever.

And what do you qualify as a friend?

Someone I can hang out with, whose company I enjoy?

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