Audience: Luca Valentino

[probe]

Comments

[notaccurate]

[Luca will take that seat, thanks.]

Thank you. But 'literally nothing', hmm?

[probe]

Yes! Literally nothing!

[he takes a sip of tea, then exhales a huff.]

They said it was the other Envies' fault, as if I control what they do-- I guess one of them antagonized Pride too much. Which, for the record, very bad life decision, zero out of ten, don't recommend. Kind of lucky they didn't die.

[notaccurate]

You're going to have to back up for a moment. "Other Envies"?

[Luca keeps missing out on key information here.]

[probe]

Oh- as in the ones aligned with my sin. I really cannot overstate how much we do not control you guys and it's an unfair expectation for me to make them behave.

[notaccurate]

[Me, thinking that every time Ryan died he got replaced by a clone Ryan.]

Ahh, them. I can see where they might annoy Pride.

It must be frustrating to not have much control, hmm? It makes deterring the murderers we have here harder.

[probe]

[yeah he's talked to like three ryans at this point definitely

but he shakes his head, finally taking a bite of his cupcake.]

I mean, I'm- pretty used to death, so that part isn't such a big deal, but it's definitely frustrating to have people act like you're in charge of people you're not. Like- part of our job is letting you guys indulge.

[notaccurate]

...you know, I'm going to have to disagree slightly there. The 'death' part is much more concerning when you're like me and won't come back after getting stabbed.

[probe]

Oh- yeah, I guess it would be, huh?

[he reaches up to rub at the back of his neck.]

Sorry. I kind of forget, I don't... talk to normal people that often.

[notaccurate]

There's over thirty normal people here-

[He. Stops.]

...actually, no. Most of the people here are not normal. I cannot make a claim that inaccurate.

[our CLOWNS]

[probe]

A lot of you are still pretty normal by my standards!

[he is, regrettably, pretty fine with the clowns.]

[notaccurate]

[Get some better taste!!!]

Then what, do they just not visit you?

[probe]

-more of you guys visit me than I expected, honestly. I figured, I don't know, it'd be the people aligned with my sin if I was lucky?

[notaccurate]

But you're absolutely adorable! Anyone who talks to you once would want to visit you again, no?

[probe]

You think so-?

[his face flushes, at that, and the eye that's currently open on his hand has a heart pupil now.]

I- well, I guess things are different here, maybe I should've expected it wouldn't be exactly the same, but it's... it's not what I'm used to?

[notaccurate]

[He glances down at that eye, sees the heart pupil, and he grins as he gives it a wink.]

Anything I can do to help you get used to it? I'm quite talented at a few skills that are useful here. I'm sure we can get you used to the attention.

[probe]

Believe me, I would love to get used to your attention.

[he says that without thinking, then flusters, taking an immediate and very long drink from his cup.]

[notaccurate]

[Oh no, that's just going to make Luca grin.]

Envy, can you understand any language I speak?

[probe]

I- don't know? Maybe?

[he's still kind of flustered, but now he looks a little curious.]

Maybe we should test that, actually.

[notaccurate]

Well then.

[And he's switching over to Italian and speaking again.]

I would love to have you get used to me ravishing every inch of your body with my mouth. Maybe we can make a game of it and see how long it takes someone to find us here because of your moaning.

[Look at how filthy he can be!]

[probe]

[the cup clatters down onto its saucer, after that, and it takes envy a moment to remember how the fuck to speak.]

I- okay, yeah, apparently I speak Italian-- do me a favor and come here? Because I really want to kiss you right now.

[notaccurate]

[That gets a warm chuckle out of him, and he sets his cup down so he can go over to Envy's side of the table. Envy really is too fun to tease.]

Well, since you asked so nicely.

[Kiss time!]

[probe]

[envy pulls him in immediately, wasting no time in pressing an insistent kiss to his lips-- though he does pull away after a few moments, with a little sigh.]

That's a very hot proposition, I have to give you that, but I do think I would literally expire if anyone actually walked in.

[he's not the exhibitionist type.]

[notaccurate]

[Luca's almost disappointed by how quickly the kiss ends, but it's alright. He'll lick his lips as he listens to Envy.]

Mmm, the illusion of risk is better than actually risking anything, isn't it?

[probe]

We could always try it in the simulation room.

[the very real illusion of risk! and he can lock any door he wants.

someone stop envy's horny crimes i'm begging.]

[notaccurate]

[Someone should stop his horny crimes, but it's not going to be Luca. In fact, Luca is humming with interest.]

If you have the other needed supplies on you, then that can be arranged.