Audience: Mahito

[probe]

Comments

[touchups]

[THE FACT THAT THIS IS THE SECOND TIME CAPTAIN JACK HAS COME INTO MY LIFE IN LIKE 2 DAYS.]

Humans usually do whatever they can to survive. [It's surprising when they don't... Wild shit. But! He just laughs at their enthusiasm, coming to a stop on the arrow pointing toward their dancepad.]

Yup! Though it probably would have been better if they pretended something else tipped them off about Law, instead of giving that one away. Not that I doubt they'll be able to come up with some interesting stuff in the future!

[IT WAS ANNOYING AT FIRST but Mahito's had some time to sit with it and now he's just intrigued by the challenge. Terrible.]

[probe]

[this is what you deserve]

You're not wrong. [but they wave it off.]

You're already thinking of ways to get around whatever they plan next, huh? You already made it so confusing last time!

[touchups]

[STOP THIS.

Also Mahito just sideways drapes himself over his bar at that, petulant.]

That wasn't my fault! I'm not the one who brought in the cactuses and croissants! [HE ONLY BROUGHT THE CLEETS.] Ugh... I told Gluttony I'd try to keep the next one cleaner, at least.

[AND THEN KINDNESS COMES TO KICK HIS ASS AND DERAIL HIM ANYWAY. Good thing because haha. That would have not been a cleaner kill in any definition.]

But yeah - that's the way it goes, right? Everyone uses each other to get stronger and smarter.

[probe]

You ruined a really nice table cloth and tried to frame Ashiya! pouty...] But at least you're being considerate.

I don't know if that's true for all humans. It's not like everyone just uses everyone else. People are more likely to work together instead.

[touchups]

Technically Vlad ruined it. [LOOK VLAD'S THE ONE WHO STABBED!!] And I just thought framing Douman would be fun!

[And Douman is like, one of his favorite people... He truly is just a curse through and through. Anyway, he'll scuff a foot against one of the arrows, looking distracted for a second.]

--Huh. So are you the kinda person who believes in long-term cooperation?

[probe]

Hm...yes and no. I think it's very nice and I personally like it a lot. But I know other people don't feel that way. I kind of argue with Childe about this same subject a lot.

[touchups]

Haha, really? He didn't really seem like the arguing type.

[That's just because Childe and Mahito have never had a reason to argue since they VIBE SO HARD.]

Guess that makes sense, though. Do you get along with Greed pretty well? Just outta curiosity.

[probe]

Maybe it's not really arguing, but we don't agree on some stuff. [lust and childe vibe enough that when they clash it's on pretty stupid (but somewhat major) stuff.]

...I don't talk to Greed that much. They're okay, and they're really smart, but we don't have a lot in common or anything.

[touchups]

Oh! Yeah, that's not surprising.

[If only because... he and Childe vibe so hard that he can only imagine Lust and Childe also clash over similar things. He also just hums at that, nodding.]

Makes sense. I had a feeling there'd be a little too much personality clash. We had a pretty interesting chat about cooperation earlier, is all. [A little shrug.] Wanna get started? I can talk and play at the same time.

[probe]

Oh, can you? Molly had a little trouble at first so I wasn't sure. [so they jump back onto their platform and start the song!]

What kind of conversation?

[touchups]

Yep! I've played this a lot so I can multitask. [HIS EASILY DIVIDED ATTENTION SPAN... Time to DDR and converse at the same time, good work champs.]

Just about how feasible long-term cooperation is! We agreed, I think? It was kinda surprising! I don't really get them, haha.

[And yet, he is fond?? Unfortunate.]

[probe]

Great! [and they go! lust is apparently very skilled at this, too, and can dance and talk at the same time.

also that's terrible.]

I don't think they even really get themselves if it makes you feel better! I hear them mumbling to themselves a lot when they're working through things. But I know a few people don't totally agree on cooperation.

[touchups]

[The idea that they're just having a conversation about ty's other npc while DDRing at rapid speeds to Captain Jack is honestly hilarious.]

Lots of people are like that, I guess! It seems like it's hard to know yourself.

[Can't relate at all, damn.]

Anyway, everyone would probably have to be a collective hivemind species for cooperation to work all the time every time, long-term.

[probe]

[it's what we all deserve unfortunately.]

You seem to know yourself totally fine though. [literally just voicing that out loud.]

A hivemind sounds pretty scary though...but isn't that kind of like curses? You guys have pretty much the same goal, don't you?

[chaos.]

[touchups]

Yep. Curses are different from humans, there! There's no reason for us to deny what we are, so it's easier to understand ourselves.

[He seems to think about their question before answering, though... Momentary silence as the DDR screen yells PERFECT COMBO at them both.]

Mmm... Kind of! But not quite. We're all driven to destroy things and hurt humans - that's a curse's instinct! But most curses can't even talk, let alone come up with a goal. Even between us special grades, there's a lot of conflict and differences, you know? Like... Jogo thinks curses are the true humans, so we should be the dominant species, but Hanami just wants to make sure humans can't destroy the planet anymore.

[probe]

Like a hierarchy then...how do you know which view is right? Or, maybe there really isn't a right view since the instinct is destruction. [they do a fancy spin just for fun without breaking their combo.]

They say the same thing about aliens, you know. They're the dominant species who are planning to come back to the planet to overthrow us all.

[touchups]

Kinda! Sorcerers made a scale to keep track of us and themselves better.

[He does a little round of applause for their fancy little spin! Impressive DDR prowess, damn. He doesn't have many flourishes, but he does have near-perfect timing, even with his attention split.]

Anyway, I think it's the same for us as it is for humans, for that. No one view is really right... They're all just different. Some views are probably more sympathetic to humans, though! Like Hanami's! They're gentle. Their drive to destroy really only manifests in wanting to clear humans outta the way so the Earth can heal.

[Said fondly. He loves Hanami... Big ol softy that still kills tons of people, wipes tear.]

It'd be pretty funny if we all got wiped out by aliens, though.

[WHY.]

[probe]

Sounds like a tough job. I can barely keep track of all of you guys while you're here.

[the names and concepts are only passingly familiar from what they know about mahito, but they're listening as best as they can.]

There are a lot of things that mankind's brought to the earth that's been damaging it. Like pollution...and global warming! Those poor polar bears...

I think I'd want to do a Q&A with the aliens first. [i hate it here.]

[touchups]

[He just laughs a little at that - both at the idea that they have a tough job (they absolutely do) and the fact that Lust struggles to keep up with them all (absolutely fair).]

Yep! There are even some humans who'd probably agree with Hanami, I bet. [LIKE ME, AKI, WHO SAYS YEAH HANAMI JUST TAKE US THE FUCK OUT ALL WE DO IS ENDANGER PANDAS.

this is so stupid but Mahito asks with real and genuine curiosity:]

What would you ask them?

[probe]

[truly, you are all menaces.]

It wouldn't surprise me. Some people are on a much higher plane of existence than others, even if their opinion's confusing sometimes. [this is also a mood.

by now the song probably ends, so lust is starting to browse for another one.]

I'd ask them what their plans are for the future first of all. Wouldn't you want to know? If someone was gonna replace all the people on my home planet I'd want to see what they were thinking would be better.

[touchups]

[SHAKES OUR MENACE ENERGY CAN AROUND.]

That's a pretty funny way to put it.

[us just "yeah let the earth consume us all it's fine". He'll go back to leaning against the bar as Lust browses, though.]

Mmm... I dunno. Probably not? I wouldn't really care. [His whole original plan for the world involved the idea "we don't care if we die on the way to victory lmao", so he's not particularly invested in what-ifs.] If I were to talk to them, I'd ask about where they came from, I think. It'd be pretty interesting to see what their lives were like! It'd give you some good insight into what to expect from them, too.

[probe]

[PUSHES YOU IN THE DIRT]

Ooh...that's a good point, too. But what about if they didn't want to answer? What's the most diplomatic way to talk to an alien?

[touchups]

[STOP deserved BUT STOP]

Hm... Good question! I guess it's hard to talk diplomatically to anything that has way more power than you, huh? If they didn't want to answer, I dunno if I'd be interested enough to try finding ways to ask, honestly.

[probe]

You'd just walk away? [interesting...]

[touchups]

Maybe! It depends.

[ON WHAT HIS WHIMS DICTATE. Imagine being such a creature of whimsy that you can't even predict your own moves.]

What would you do if they didn't wanna answer?