Audience: Sheila Hammond

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Comments

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Maybe Law thought he really did think it through? I dunno. I've never met a pirate before.

[toesies]

Me, neither. Not that type of pirate, anyway.

[probe]

[shrug.

but then...they seem to think something over.]

So let's say this person did come after you. What's your plan?

[toesies]

[... She taps her chin.]

Usually, when I have kill someone, I ask my husband to distract them so I can catch them by surprise. So, I guess, whatever plan I come up with would involve a distraction and a surprise? [A beat.] Minus the husband, of course. God, taking care of the distraction by myself is going to suuuuuck.

[probe]

Well...you have a lot of floors to cover and you're really smart. I'm sure you'll think of a very good plan that they won't ever catch on to.

[toesies]

Aw... Thank you. It's so sweet of you to say so.

[At least someone thinks she's smart... Truly, the best avatar.]

You know what would be funny? If I pretended to be dead. Not regular-me dead, but dead-dead.

[probe]

Like pretending you were a victim to get the jump on somebody? Ooh...that could work. It'd be totally unsuspicious, too.

[toesies]

Exactly! Get them to think someone beat them to the punch. Bet that would totally surprise them.

[probe]

It is a good plan as long as you can outrace them when they start to examine you. And hope that it's not some crazy sadist or something that'll just make it worse.

[toesies]

It'll be fine! I can't feel pain and I never get tired. Besides, if they touch me, I'll just zap them.

[probe]

That's true! Just be careful not to, like, accidentally activate it or touch somebody wearing metal or something.

[toesies]

... I didn't think about metal.

[Hm]

[probe]

This is why we're talking. A power backfiring would be the worst.

[toesies]

Remind me to never overlook the importance of spitballing.

[probe]

I'm always here if you want to talk ideas, Mrs. Hammond. I can't promise I'll be good at it, but I can do my best.

[toesies]

Hey, you thought about metal! I would say that's pretty fucking good already. Don't sell yourself short.

[probe]

[sheila can't see it, but maybe she can see it faintly under lust's hood as she immediately perks up.]

Well if you really think so...then I'm glad!

[toesies]

I'm just stating facts. Give yourself some credit!

[probe]

Okay, okay! I will. Just this once. [hehe]

[toesies]

Hey, more than just this once!

[probe]

You're gonna make me agree, aren't you? [but they grin.] I'll take credit when credit's worth taking.

[toesies]

You know it! [She snorts, shaking her head.] God, why are you all like this?

[probe]

I'm very young and impressionable. [shut up iris.]

Honestly? Probably because...there's still a lot we don't know, and it feels like we should. That's how I feel at least.

[toesies]

That's life. I think you just described life.

[probe]

...no wonder people say life sucks.