Audience: Sheila Hammond

[probe]

Comments

[toesies]

[She is making such a face like, what the fuck. Why the fuck!]

That's such a terrible thing to say! And never mind I spoke to him, too, and we did the friend version of a confession. Totally unnecessary.

[Omi is so lucky to be dead, because there is murder in her eyes.]

Shit, I'm so sorry. If he thought your best fucking self is "creepy," [finger quotes] then he wasn't good enough for you. What a dick!

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I'd say this is why I'm going to die alone, except I can't actually die.

[so many perfectly good turns of phrase, ruined by immortality.]

...thanks, though. I kind of felt like-- I didn't know if I was overreacting, he seemed to feel like it was a totally reasonable conversation.

[toesies]

Don't say that. There are hot, single immortals out there! You just haven't met them yet.

[Look. Listen. Immortality can be great if you think about having thousands of year to do everything you want.]

Well... I wasn't there to judge the conversation myself. Plus, telling someone they're not your type is common. Explaining why, though, in those words, seems a little... like overkill? I don't think you're in the wrong for feeling upset, anyway.

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They definitely do not seem to exist where I come from.

[it sucks! it sucks. this is the least isolated he's been-- ever, and it's still like this.]

Also, do you go up to people and tell them they're not your type without them even saying they like you? I knew he was too normal to like me, that's exactly why I didn't.

[toesies]

Then why not search where we come from? As you can see, plenty of worlds out there.

[Someone please save Envy. Jesus.]

Uh... I'm going with no. Why would you reject someone who hasn't even confessed to you? You have to be really full of yourself.

[probe]

Technically, I have been? I mean- you guys are all here.

[it has absolutely not been for a lack of boys that he likes, okay.]

But okay, good, that's-- I was like, why even tell me this! At least it's not just me.

[toesies]

Sure. But I would recommend a bigger dating pool than a dozen morally ambiguous singles who accepted a sketchy sounding deal.

[Being into someone doesn't mean they are right for you? Come on, Envy.]

It's not just you at all. I'm sorry you had to sit through that.

[probe]

But I like some of those morally ambiguous singles.

[a slight huff. look, he is but one envy and he can only do so much about his own bad taste.]

...thanks, though. I- kind of needed to hear all of that.

[toesies]

Fair enough. Some of these morally ambiguous singles are totally sweet.

[She still thinks a bigger dating pool would be nice, though? Sir.]

You're welcome. You know, I'm always a text away if you need to talk to someone.