Audience: Sheila Hammond

[probe]

Comments

[toesies]

I know!

[She sounds so offended but, like. Not because of Lust, specifically.]

I hate how TV and movies portray the undead. They're so bigoted. Just because I'm dead doesn't mean I'm a mindless monster who wants to eat brains. I'm a loving mother and wife. I volunteer with the elderly. I recycle! And I always eat the guts first.

[probe]

...you don't eat the elderly when they die though, right?

[THEY ARE JUST ASKING.]

[toesies]

Fuck no!

[OFFENDED.]

Also, I turned my elderly woman so she could meet her granddaughter. I could never eat her if she dies.

[probe]

Okay, okay! I was just checking! You're kinda the first zombie I've ever met, I was curious!

[toesies]

Yeah, well, it was kind of rude. [POUTING, GRUMBLING.] Nobody ever asks those questions to people with other medical conditions.

[probe]

...no. They just ask other questions. [by now she's on sheila's other hand because they're still doing nails.] Or they don't believe the things you have to say. But I won't ask those questions again, promise.

[toesies]

Thank you. And the the record, not mad at you.

[A beat, though, and then slowly:]

Are you talking from experience?

[probe]

Hmmm....nope! What makes you ask? [and back to being amicable.]

[toesies]

It just really sounded like you were.

[probe]

Oh. No, I've just heard some things from other people, so it reminded me of that.

[toesies]

Makes sense. I hope those other people are alright, though. It's so sad that they have to deal with asshole questions.

[probe]

Yeah, me too. I know sometimes people don't mean to be terrible when they do those things, but it's still pretty harsh.

[toesies]

Yeah... But on the other hand, intent shouldn't excuse ignorance.

[probe]

No, it shouldn't. [boo.]

...does anyone else here know about your situation besides the Avatars?

[toesies]

[A shake of her head.]

Admitting I eat people when two people have died seems... bad.

[probe]

Just wondering. Some people might be understanding but...it's a lot for most people. But that's good. It means people can't be mean to you about it either.