Audience: Sheila Hammond

[probe]

Comments

[toesies]

[she fake gasps]

How dare you shame the Hamburger Helper, brand of my people? You're worse than my daughter.

[probe]

Hey, I'm not saying anything bad about it-! We used to make it at home too.

[toesies]

Whoa, slow down. I wasn't being serious! I think it's ugly as fuck, too.

[... wait.]

You had Hamburger Helper at home?

[probe]

Yeah. I, uh, don't really make it on my own, but my mom would.

[toesies]

Oh... That's nice, actually. What's your mother like? I think this is the first thing you've said about your home that isn't objectively horrible.

[probe]

-did I say anything that bad...?

[envy. please.

they shift a little uncomfortably, though.]

She's, um, she's fine! She's a doctor. Usually pretty busy. We never talked a lot-- pretty much just holidays, you know?

[toesies]

[She makes a face and nods a little. Yeah, they did say some pretty bad things. Envy, please.]

That's... a little less nice. Was it just the two of you at home?

[probe]

Well, no, not just us, but- you know. Sometimes things just don't, uh, work out long-term, I guess?

[toesies]

... Yeah, I guess. I'm sorry to hear that.

[probe]

It's okay-! I mean, we all kind of got along a little better after I left, so it's fine.

[toesies]

Mm... I can't think of a nice way to tell you that doesn't really sound fine.

[probe]

It was just, uh, better for all of us without me around. It's better now than it was, so it's still fine, right?

[they sound faintly uncertain, shrugging awkwardly.]

[toesies]

[Envy...........]

Are you happier now?

[probe]

Yeah. We all are, which- I guess might be a little fucked up, probably? I don't know, I did school online, I don't exactly know what everyone else's family situation was supposed to look like.

[toesies]

It's a little fucked up. [Someone please save Envy from their apparently crappy family.] But you know what, if being away from them makes you happier— then good for you! No one should live with people who make them feel bad.