Audience: Ashiya Douman

[probe]

Comments

[probe]

[they take the coffee!]

I bet. You guys having to deal with the whole memory leak thing sucks. [they open their coffee.] I was wondering when you'd come talk to me.

[commedia]

There are so many hours in the day, and so many of you to talk to...but honestly, apart from Greed, I think I've started to get to know you all a little better. Greed will come in time, too.

[And just leaning their chin in their hand on the counter.]

You know, you have quite the fanbase, you know that?

[probe]

Greed's got a stick up their ass, but - they're a sweetheart under all of it. They do their best.

[they glance at douman.] And well, yeah, of course I do? I'm incredible.

[they say this, but it's like... halfhearted.]

[commedia]

They do seem like a hard worker!

[A stickler for rules, and whatnot.]

...Hm? Do you think your attention is not well-deserved?

[probe]

[they take a sip of their coffee, shrugging.]

Let me hit you back with a different question. Do you think like I seem like someone who is uh, pro-murder?

[commedia]

[Hmmm.]

From what little I know, and from what I've heard from others....not so much?

[probe]

[... hm. their shoulders seem to relax a little.]

Rad. [they say, and then shrug.] I think I'm both, uh - unlucky and lucky to have so many people who seem to care about defending me from stinky old men.

[commedia]

[A thoughtful look.]

Lucky that so many people like you, but unlucky that they're going too far for such a thing?

[probe]

Mmhm. Like, look, my ego is thriving after a total of like ten people told Dick Master to shut his piehole, but. I don't want it to swing too far in the other direction.

[commedia]

[SORRY JUST. SNORTING AT "DICK MASTER". excuse them. coughing behind a sleeve]

And yet, people seem to dislike him like its the new trend. The poor man was second again just last week. It will be hard to convince them otherwise.

[probe]

[DOUMAN wrath thinks that's hilarious.]

He's just! Super condescending! And high on his own farts! He hasn't done anything wrong but like, you know. People here aren't really voting with justice in mind.

[commedia]

It is true. But it is hard for people to resist, especially when throwing him under the bus would be considered an indulgence of its own.

[probe]

Yeah. [they kick their heels against the cabinets.]

I wouldn't be upset if he was gone. I should be, though.

[commedia]

Mm, its not bad being honest to yourself. There are some who we will never like, despite everything to the contrary.

[probe]

You know, you are seriously not what I expected. [they seem amused.]

[commedia]

Oh?

[HMMM?]

And what did you expect?

[probe]

Well, something way more feral, for one. Maybe more garbo. Envy's taste is questionable.

[commedia]

[WRATH HOW COULD YOU DUNK ENVY LIKE THIS]

[Douman barks out a laugh.]

Ahaha, maybe that's just what I show him, and you're getting me at my best?

[probe]

[ARE THEY WRONG?]

Hah! Shit, you're right, you're probably a primo garbage can where I can't see. [sniff.] Well, whatever. Envy can handle himself just fine, I just, uh, apparently turn into a mama bear whenever I talk about him!

[commedia]

[...........no]

A garbage...can? [EXCUSE YOU, WRATH?] But...haha, you remind me a bit of Sheila. I guess she's the type to call herself a mama bear, too.

[probe]

A cute one, though.

[amending. as for the rest:] Sheila's a good lady. I think getting compared to her is a pretty good compliment.

Sometimes you do whatever it takes to protect the people you love, even if it's a small thing.

[commedia]

Oh...I don't know whether to be flattered...

[Garbage but cute garbage...hehe.]

Mmm, for sure. The bonds between people can be strong, indeed. And you're the type to go for shovel talking with everyone that falls in that category, huh?

[probe]

It's like half a compliment. [they shift.]

And yes. There's - there's really nothing more powerful than the bonds between people. It's what powers everything. I really believe that. I'm the type to protect those bonds, as much as I can.

[commedia]

I'll take it.

[It's better than none!]

Every kind of bond? Or just the good ones?

[probe]

Well, I guess anything counts. I'm not here to boss anybody around about how they feel.

As long as you're not hurting anybody, I don't think it matters much?