Audience: Tartaglia Childe

[probe]

Comments

[toyska]

[u_u me and childe, both alike in being unloved by wrath

But he just shrugs. He'll take "bastard" tbh that's fine. At least he's smart enough not to get attached to people who could die overnight, he does not say, because he wants to die in a proper fight and not by being smote on the couch after a long trial.

He does laugh quietly, though, reaching for the alcohol he'd brought instead. Wrath can keep their whiskey.]

What a pair we make, then.

[probe]

[be nice we're doing our best ;n;

also, that's probably a good thing that he doesn't say that out loud.]

Two bastards with sibling soft spots? Yeah. What a fucking pair.

[toyska]

[Fluffs both mods and Wrath!! But it's true, Childe is a bastard with a braincell. Tragic, because it would've been very funny for him to show up to execution set on fire.

Instead, though, he just tips his bottle in a mock toast.]

As they say, С волками жить - по вольчи выть. [It's worth the effort to switch into his native language, regardless of whether or not Wrath understands him. Though after a moment, he gives them a tired smile.] You've got quite the squadron of defenders, though, did you see that last time?

[The Wrath Defense squad from last trial...]

[probe]

Live with wolves and learn to howl, huh? [they're never going to get used to just knowing things like this, wow.]

And - yeah. I did see! It's because I'm a goddamn delight.

[toyska]

[Okay, well, he kind of already figured, but thanks for the confirmation on that first part, and as for the second--

Childe stares at Wrath and just takes a very long, pointed drink of his alcohol with a "No Comment" vibe.

He's gonna get bee ears again. Beears.]

[probe]

You are really, very much asking for more bees.

[yea]

If you're making a point I don't know what it is. I simply don't perceive it.

[toyska]

[He takes another long drink--no okay now he's laughing.]

Well I can't start being nice now, it'd ruin my reputation.

[probe]

You just dunked on me for sleeping with Gu Yun and now you're trying to imply you're secretly nice?

[toyska]

First of all, I wasn't "dunking" on you, I was pointing out that he's way more "smarmy" than I am. [HE STANDS BY THIS. GU YUN IS A GIANT HAM.] And secondly, I'm nice to everyone except him.

[they're




friends (derogatory)]

[probe]

Hm, no, he's waaaay more charming than you. You're a snot. He's boyish.

[WRATH

their tone suggests that they are maybe not being 100% serious, though.]

Also! Not once has Gu Yun accused any of the Avatars of secret murder broadcasts and then refused to apologize for it until he was emotionally bullied into it!

[toyska]

You're more biased than my sister.

[Poor sweet Tonia. But he just sounds exasperated, and kind of amused. God. Watching Misa gasp over Wrath and Despair while Wrath sat around playing with Gu Yun's hair for an hour aged him 20 years. WHY IS HE THE KEEPER OF THE LORE HE DOESN'T WANT THIS JOB.]

Anyway, I didn't refuse to apologize. I just thought it would be better to give them space for a little while. [Even if he's like. Still mostly just sorry for upsetting them, since it was a perfectly valid theory. Also, Gu Yun didn't exactly argue with him?? In fact--] You're the one who told him that those executions are a form of indulgence. Forgive me for not immediately trusting a group of hooded strangers who hear and see our every move.

[That's essentially his entire career, sans the hood these days, and he sure as hell ain't trustworthy.]

[probe]

They are a form of indulgence, but I don't see how that connects us to anything.

[they say, taking another sip.]

I also do my best to not see and hear your every move. Thanks.

[toyska]

[Okay, he can't help but laugh, sounding genuinely amused.]

Coming from you, to me, I believe that much.

[He doesn't sound bothered, though. What even is this CR I'm in tears.

But he settles a little, then, tapping a finger on his leg.]

If I asked you a serious question, would you give me a serious answer?

[Because for the most part, he truly doesn't mind Wrath needling at him. If they don't want to answer, that's fine. But he isn't going to waste his energy on real topics if it won't get him anywhere.]

[probe]

[i don't even know this cr is so much]

Depends on the question, but you can, uh, certainly try.

[toyska]

[My gut is telling me they're slappyhands siblings like Aki and Anna tbh

Despite how stupid the rest of this thread has been, though, he does truly look serious now, eyes sharp and thoughtful.]

Who is it, that's indulging in those "executions"?

[probe]

[you're... not wrong, wow, it's very much "i'll kill you" and "WMELAMFL" but lowercase.]

You guys are.

[toyska]

[I HATE THIS GIVE ME BACK LWJ AND BEAU.

But he mulls that over, considering. As with anything, he's taking it with a grain of salt, but it's at least plausible.]

Is that why they were arranged, then? To help us reach our goal faster?

[Since Lust mentioned that, if no one else died from this point on, it was still feasible--it would just take a lot longer.]

[probe]

[STOP LET ME PRETEND YOU DON'T KNOW WHO I AM]

Do you think that's the right answer?

[they take a sip of whiskey.]

[toyska]

[Never u_u

He sighs, taking a match sip of his own drink.]

I think I appreciate straight answers over mind games.

[probe]

Oh, boy, you picked the wrong person to talk to, then! I can't give any straight answers to a boy I want to give a swirlie.

[toyska]

[...Okay well firstly this is why he asked if Wrath would even bother answering seriously in the first place, so thanks for humoring him for about two minutes. Secondly--]

I have no idea what that means.

[probe]

[it is possible they were going to give him a straight answer and then swerved.]

Dunking your head in a toilet and flushing.

[toyska]

[If he had his bajillion dollars he would bet 500,000 of them that Wrath couldn't be nice to him for a whole day.

But he just looks a little puzzled. At least he didn't have to ask Mahito to explain...]

Wouldn't your hands get wet?

[Childe's Genshin fight brain be like "Pyro Hands + Hydro Toilet = Damage Taken"???]

[probe]

[wrath has no need for a 500,000 dollars they are richer than god]

... I - what. Yes? Maybe? Does... that matter?

[toyska]

[Stop copying him]

You're a Pyro--sorry, a fire wielder, aren't you? [Or made of fire, whatever.] Wouldn't it hurt you?

[I wish he was trolling but he is being very genuine right now. Don't hurt your hands just to bully him Wrath wtf]