Audience: Gojou Satoru

[probe]

Comments

[mukagen]

Awww, but I always see people treat you so nicely!

[ looks into the future as people scramble to dying envy. ]

It’s not like you’re the people you’re aligned with. You guys are a bit different! Each unique in a couple of ways.

[probe]

We're still alike at our core, in some ways, or they wouldn't have been tied to me in the first place.

[another little shrug...]

...I still, um, don't really know what to do with so many people being nice to me? It's almost a little overwhelming. Kind of can't help wondering how many of them are faking it.

[mukagen]

You really do have a lot of worries.

[ He doesn't say that like it's a bad thing, but more that it's new... For himself? To think about this, too. Gojou never thought too much about people being too nice to him because he doesn't see it more than an act. ]

People can be good. [ Nod. ] But you also have to protect yourself, right?

[probe]

Can't really help that, I just- always have.

[sometimes, you just have anxiety.]

They can, but with some of them-- I know it's not exactly real. I'm not that naive.

[mukagen]

It's all right. I think I just don't have a lot of worries—I'm weird to most people.

[ He gently pats Envy's back twice. Hmmm. ]

People can also be bad. [ Just the truth. ] That's why you have to really pick them... Would it be better if we don't crowd you so much?

[probe]

Well, at least we're both-- oof. Um, weird.

[even if it's not that hard, envy is a twig and it's an unexpected touch; it's more a verbal reaction than anything else.]

...I don't think it'd help if you guys did though, no. I'd just feel like you didn't want to see me.

[mukagen]

Yeah! We're both weird.

[ ........................................................... ]

How do we win?!

[ HELLO?! ]

[probe]

I don't know!!

[he reaches up to just. rub at his face.]

Look, it's not easy being an embodiment of jealousy, okay?

[mukagen]

You’re right.

[ Gojou nods as he remembers that. Okay. They’re in the clear. ]

What do you desire, Envy?!

[probe]

...I don't know that either, I think.

[he's just. fidgeting with his robe sleeves.]

I've been thinking about it, since, um. A couple of you have asked what I'd want if I were in your position. And I thought at first that I just didn't want to be alone, but that... hasn't entirely been enough. I have that here, but it's not as satisfying on its own as I thought it'd be.

[mukagen]

Hmm. Then a special someone? I don't mean romantically, even platonically is fine. People have best friends that mean the world to them, after all.

[ Gojou can understand wanting to fill that void. ]

[probe]

-yeah. It's just that-- you know, I know a lot about what goes on here, so I'm pretty sure if the people I care about actually had to pick-- it wouldn't be me. It's, uh, extremely hard not to get jealous about that? So I guess what I want more than not being on my own is just... someone who'd actually choose me, if they needed to make that kind of choice at all.

Not that I'd want them to have to-! But- you know what I mean, right?

[mukagen]

[ Hmmm. There was a moment where he wished someone chose him instead of the path they took. Listen to him, not the dark voices. It's a lot different, though. Instead of jealousy, Gojou feels sad for maybe ten seconds. That's how much he will allow despair to have him today. ]

Yeah, I get it. I told Tamotsu this before, but there must be someone out there for you where you guys just—[ Snaps his fingers. "Click." ] How hard is it to find people as an Avatar?

[ y'all speed date or anything ]

[probe]

Well, my options are currently limited to the type of people who agreed to come to the indulgence center to get what they want, and this is the broadest they've ever been, so you tell me.

[it's not remotely easy.]

It's- not like I'm good with people to begin with.

[mukagen]

That's tough since we're mortal...

[ He'd say something like "THOUGHT ABOUT NOT BEING AN AVATAR AND GOING HOME?" but that doesn't fix the "I'm not good with people" part. ]

Would it be worth it even if they might die?

[probe]

...yeah. I mean-- death doesn't mean anything to a medium, you know? Back home, all my friends were ghosts. Dated one for a little while. If they're motivated enough to not move on, then death's not really a setback.

[maybe don't just say that so casually, envy, jesus.]

[mukagen]

[ The weird thing is that Gojou isn't bothered? It makes sense to him. Why would death be a problem when you can still see them. He gets it. ]

Do you see ghosts of us here, then?

[probe]

No. It's, um, a little weird to not be seeing death everywhere, honestly?

[a slight pause, before-]

It isn't an exact thing, but you know the way the city on this floor looks? It's... not that far off from the way the world usually is, for me.

[mukagen]

... I would feel weird if I didn't see curses, but we have one here so it isn't too bad for me.

[ He gets it, though. The city— ]

With all the people with wounds walking around. [ ... ] Is that something you chose to have a room for?

[probe]

Oh, right- I keep almost forgetting you guys are from the same place.

[which is probably fine, it's fine...]

But no, I didn't. Just kind of worked out that way!

[mukagen]

Be careful about that one, Envy. He doesn't know true commitment or companionship. Nothing worth there aside from the physical aspect or maybe a good conversationalist.

[ He warns Envy because he thinks the guy needs a break. ]

... That's strange. So this place just takes things into account when unlocking the floors.

[probe]

I know, I know, it's fine-- I know what he is. He's just- always been sweet to me, y'know? We hang out pretty often.

[sometimes you just take your attention where you can get it and that's... valid??]

[mukagen]

[ hm.................. whatever floats your boat, envy. ]

I don't think he would stab you, so that's fine. And you would just come back. [ Nod. ] But forget about him! Other people! Think about some other people!

[probe]

[sometimes you just have bad taste and take what you can get. It's Fine.]

I do-! I literally have a list, remember?

[mukagen]

You put me on that list when I barely talked to you at the time.

[ Boy. Gojou is a meme, but please. ]