probe | Audience: Gojou Satoru

Candidate number one!

[ HE SAYS IT SO ABRUPTLY, EXPECTING ENVY TO SAY THE FIRST NAME THAT COMES TO MIND ]

Uh- Mollymauk??

[it absolutely works, and he blinks a couple times before flustering.]

Wait, wait, I didn't say I'd rank them-!

Might actually be taken.

[ He doesn’t know the details or care to know. ]

Candidate two!

You didn't specify anything about that--

[he's not putting in the extra effort to eliminate people who might be taken, it's depressing.]

You and Mahito are probably two and three, but I'm putting Mahito first because we hang out more.

My sentiments are more genuine—[ Okay, this isn’t about him, but let him go on. ]

Candidate four!

It's called 'taking what you can get'.

[he is, at least, pretty self-aware of how he operates.]

But, uh-- Ming Yi is attractive? We've never talked though.

At least when he dies, I’ll be bumped to second.

[ THIS ISNT OUTRIGHT MEAN RIGHT........ HE IS Stating a fact. ]

Ming Yi is cute! We haven’t talked, either, but definitely cute from what I’ve seen.

[ he... he can’t say Ming Yi is the type he likes to bully. ]

Okay. Candidate five!

You could always try and improve your standing before then.

[but he sounds a little amused when he says it, so. probably at least halfway joking.]

I-- really don't know, though? I mean. There are still some who're cute, but I don't know that any others stand out to me..

[ Hmmm. That's very little of them! And he doesn't know how long this is going to go. ]

Are you guys planning to do this again? With a fresh batch of people after us?

I don't know...? Look, my personal plans don't even extend up until you guys leave, right now. I have about zero plans.

[ oh... my god... Gojou can't help but laugh because this is so funny? He did not expect this. ]

Sometimes I'm not big on plans, either. [ Hm. ] None of the other Avatars your type?

Not like that. I get along really well with some, and-- okay, yes, some of them are attractive, but I don't think we're exactly compatible.

[ Small voice: ]

This is harder than I initially thought.

-wait, you're not trying to set me up or something, are you?

What? No. You have to approach them yourself, Envy.

I just wanted to support you and whoever you had your eye on! It’s easier when there’s a name and face attached. Then we can create ship names.

Well, now you see how hard it is!

[he exhales a little huff, shoulders slumped.]

I've made an effort, okay? Also please don't ship-name me, they'd all sound weird.

There are other ways to make ship names, you know! Sometimes they pick out a common interest or a location they hang out at like...Ferris Wheel Shipping is when you ship Hilda and N from Pokemon.

[ why am i writing this ]

Oh, or like that pretentious stuff they do on tumblr where it's tagged with a whole sentence for the ship name, and everyone uses a different one? I just want to look at some gifsets, jeez.

Yeah, yeah! They used to use them in tags and no one seems to agree on how to type it out! You know tumblr is kind of dead? Most of fandom moved to Twitter, apparently.

[ WAIT. WHY THEY TALKING ABOUT THIS. ]

... Was there more you were worried about?

Yeah, I know, but I still like the aesthetic posts there.

[...he pauses at the question, though, brow slightly furrowed.]

-I don't think so, though? But, um. How much time do you have?

... How long have I been here?

[ HE DOESN'T KNOW HOW MUCH TIME HE HAS ]

...not that long, I think? I mean- we can reschedule too! But if you were, um, serious about offering...

[sometimes both people in the thread are a ho.]

Yeah, definitely!

[ Gojou laughs. He doesn't see why he should say no? Also, Envy is cute. ]

Do you have a preference on day? Like... Not on trial or execution day. Not on those weird cursed days.

[ Wednesdays. ]

Well, I mean, the intended implication here is that we don't have to schedule for later if you don't want to? But, um, if not any of those-- Monday or Tuesday?

Yeah, Monday or Tuesday sounds good to me. I'll contact you if it's not a bad week for me! Or you, even.

[ laughs at incoming thursday. ]

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probe - 2021-03-21 01:53 (UTC) - Expand

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mukagen - 2021-03-21 01:55 (UTC) - Expand