Oh, back to this. [HE DOESN'T SOUND SURPRISED AT ALL though he's just frowning in confusion at their surroundings. Point and stare, it's fine, it's not his fault your god sucks.] But this isn't Liyue... [To Vlad:] Do you recognize it?
[As they discuss this, a mean child is going to throw a rock at (also debatably mean) Childe. Heh.
But if they're watching closely, they might see another kid running off in the distance. They can't be seen too clearly, but their hair colour sure looks like Childe's...?]
[Mean Child is going to get ignored by Mean Childe, save for lifting a hand to catch the rock that gets thrown at him. Get better aim punk!! Nice guts for throwing a rock at a dude with horns, though, Childe can respect that.
The words "little brother", on the other hand--on instinct, his head whips around, and he follows Vlad's gaze to see what he's talking about.]
Oh, I see. That's the game. [Hm. He sounds--not angry, exactly, but certainly displeased, even though his tone is still rather light. Dangerous.
But they're unlikely to get anywhere if they just stand around and let people point and laugh at Childe, so. He starts after his lil illusion bro.] Time to play along, then.
[As Childe follows after the illusion (and Vlad follows him? unless he wants to chill here), something interesting happens! And by interesting, I mean that the ground shakes—and the city is ripped from this dimension and dumped into another. I don't actually know what being transported to the (Shadow Realm) Ghost Zone was like, Lisa help.
From the newly green sky, ghost skeletons descend GHOST SKELETONS EMERGE FROM THE GROUND THERE YOUR CANON ACCURACY, and they don't look friendly. Vlad and Childe might get the sense that although the two of them are unarmed, they might not have much to fear with their enhanced physical capabilities, at least. On the other hand, it probably doesn't matter much, as the ghost skeletons don't seem to have noticed them yet.
Instead, they start attacking the civilians around them, including the people of Liyue. Screams fill the air! It's not very pleasant. Help them... or don't?
Meanwhile, Childe will find that he's lost sight of the illusion, with no clue as to where it went.]
[ Vlad does indeed follow, and being transported to the Ghost Zone is very much like the earth rumbling beneath you and the sky cracking apart like glass above you. Segments of the sky fall and crash to the ground, revealing the new, true "sky" of the realm the city's been transported to: the oozing greens and swirling purples of the Ghost Zone, doors hovering like stars.
Vlad just watches the chaos of the sky literally falling and the people running frantically with a detached sort of distance. ]
[UwoAH how sudden and scary, if only Childe had some WACKY experience getting transported to a different world, haha
Anyways if nothing stops him he's just gonna start walking away, cupping his hands to his mouth and shouting. Bye Vlad and also people who are probably gonna die.]
As the skeletons continue to maul people around them and they ignore them, some people show up! For Vlad, it's Danny, of the Fenton variety. Again, I make no claims of being IC here, but it's fine, it's a fake Danny. Danny's doing his best to help the people being attacked, but it's kind of hard when he's an ordinary human right now?
But when he sees Vlad, he turns to him, glaring.]
Why are you just standing there!? This is your own fault, so you could at least take some responsibility!
[Meanwhile, Childe will hear Teucer's voice coming from around a corner.]
Big brother?
[Assuming Childe follows, he'll see Teucer! Safe and unharmed, yaaaaay. He also looks pretty chill with the entire situation, all things considered.]
Vlad is distracted from Childe's whole...thing...by Danny's appearance and confrontation. Danny does not appear to be at all surprised by his sudden horns but okay, sure, whatever. This is pretty different from the last time anyway. ]
Why, whatever do you mean Daniel? I didn't inflict any of this on you or your little hometown! You think I have any control over Pariah Dark? He conquers as he sees fit.
[ cries i'm sorry for this weird deep ghost lore, this is technically true stuff! he's just also leaving out the bit where he very intentionally provoked Pariah Dark into doing all of this. the point is VLAD REFUSES ANY RESPONSIBILITY WHATSOEVER, at least as far as acknowledging it. ]
[Can't believe Childe's missing the chance to popcorn Vlad's speech because he decided to chase after what he knows is an illusion instead. But listen! Based on what the Goat Monster said, he has a feeling he knows what this is going to be about, and this is likely where he's meant to go anyway. God. Even knowing it's an illusion leaves a bit of a sour taste in his mouth, but it's fine. It'll be fine.
He rounds the corner, putting his hands on his hips. Hi lil bro, please enjoy his new horns, aren't they cool?]
There you are! How many times have I told you not to run off like that, hm? It's dangerous.
Helping people costs you nothing! Jerk! This is why my mom didn't pick you!
[Does Danny know about this? It doesn't matter, because this is Omniscient (Fake) Danny who also knows that Vlad is still kind of to blame, you incel asshole. :/ Unfortunately, he can't force Vlad into doing anything, as he has to run off and help more people.
Over with Childe: Teucer just smiles up at him, completely unconcerned with monster skeletons trying to kill people. He points up at the horns, making him the only character in this entire CYOA segment to acknowledge anyone's horns, because yeah!! They're cool!!]
Childe, meanwhile, crouches down so that fake Teucer can touch them if he wants! They should probably go somewhere away from the monster skeletons, but eh. Childe will just bust them up if needed? It's probably fine. He does, however, kind of angle himself to try and block Teucer's view of people presumably getting murdered, even if he doesn't seem fazed by it at all.]
Haha, no, not quite. These are a new toy we're testing out, from the research facility. What do you think, don't they look real?
As he yells, a little girl fleeing from a skeleton runs up to him and grabs his leg. Why him? Because other people are already busying with HELPING OTHERS, Danny included. (Who just scowls at Vlad!! [PG-version of "fuck you" goes here.])
The girl cries.]
Help me, Mister! Please!
[What now.
Over with Childe, who tells lies to children, Teucer touches his horns!! Wow!!! He nods.]
Yeah, they look super real! What kind of toys are they, though? Those people don't look like they're having much fun...
[Childe, who lies to children, glances over his shoulder at the skeletons. I can't really describe what they're doing because I'm a pleb who hasn't watched that much Danny Phantom but whatever it is, it's probably not good.
Not that it matters, because Childe just shakes his head.]
Oh, those? Those aren't ours. [WELL IT'S TRUE. Getting to his feet, he holds out his hand.] It doesn't look very safe out here right now, so let's go find somewhere to wait, alright? I'm sure Her Majesty is sending in reinforcements right away.
[Her Majesty the Tsaritsa of This Random Park in America]
[ Here's the thing: Vlad Masters does not give one shit about this child. He does, however, care about his public image, and he is something of a celebrity, so he can't be seen throwing a child to the mercy of ghost skeleton warriors.
So he picks up the girl, hoisting her up on his hip, and sighs heavily. ]
Very well, let's go find your papa, then.
[ He gives Danny a smug, nasty look--for all that he may know Vlad's true colors, he can't do a damn thing to bring him down because he is a picture perfect model citizen as far as anyone else can see. ]
[DON'T LOOK AT HIM WITH THOSE BIG OL' EYES, TEUCER even if you are fake, he has press down a sigh. HE'S SUCH A SUCKER... terrible.]
First, I have to make sure you're somewhere safe. Remember what I told you? We shouldn't charge into unknown dangers. [And he'll stick to that, keeping hold of Teucer's hand and starting to walk away. There's probably a safe building somewhere around, right? It would be very funny if he and Vlad ended up running back into each other with one (1) newly acquired child each.] But if you promise to stay put when we find somewhere safe, then I'll come see what I can do, alright?
[Danny just! scowls at Vlad! And can't resist one parting remark.]
Your image won't last forever, you know. And then what are you gonna do?
[Anyway. The girl will point at a building. It may or may not conveniently be the building that Childe is looking at.]
We got separated over there...!
[Though if they head on over there, a ghost skeleton shambles on over and tries to stab the girl. I couldn't think of a non-blunt way to say that but there you go.
Teucer follows along and nods with all the sincerity of a small child. Which is to say, he might mean it right now, but no guarantees about how he's feeling five minutes later.]
Money, my boy. It walks, it talks, it rehabilitates.
[ And with that last smug retort, Vlad sets off for the building she's pointing at. Ah, look at that--it's his fellow horny man, how convenient.
Then the skeleton comes shambling over and--Vlad barely has to think before he's whipping out his free arm to punch the thing directly in the chest, with all the strength his newly-empowered body has in it.
He hopes it falls apart in a pile of bones and dust. ]
[Yeah unfortunately this is after Teucer becomes a stowaway on a ship to come see him so Childe IS NOT BUYING IT, even though he sounds fond as he speaks. Does he see Vlad? Who knows, because he's not acknowledging him. Wow.]
I mean it, Teucer! You make a pinkie promise, you keep it all your life...
[For those of you reading along at home, the rest of that cute little rhyme is: "You break a pinkie promise, I throw you on the ice. The cold will kill the pinkie that once betrayed your friend, the frost will freeze your tongue off so you never lie again."
[The skeleton does fall apart! Good job, Vlad. The girl clings to Vlad. Her hero! Does he deserve that praise? Debatable.
But when the little girl sees Childe, she gasps and points.]
That looks like the man Papa left Mama for! [WHAT.] Maybe he knows where he is!
[At least Teucer faithfully repeats the rhyme after Childe, why is Russia/fantasy Russia like this. Now go and actually do a decent deed out there, sir.]
[ Vlad is, if nothing else, passively curious about whatever weird connections are being made here in fake Amity Park. He approaches Childe and once he's done reciting nursery rhymes with his brother, Vlad clears his throat loudly enough to catch his attention. ]
This child says you know her father. Does that ring any bells?
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But if they're watching closely, they might see another kid running off in the distance. They can't be seen too clearly, but their hair colour sure looks like Childe's...?]
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[ last he checked, Amity Park was not predominantly populated by fantasy-Chinese people.
Before he can contemplate that any further, though, he spots the child whip a rock towards Childe and the other kid running off. Hmm. ]
Your little brother?
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The words "little brother", on the other hand--on instinct, his head whips around, and he follows Vlad's gaze to see what he's talking about.]
Oh, I see. That's the game. [Hm. He sounds--not angry, exactly, but certainly displeased, even though his tone is still rather light. Dangerous.
But they're unlikely to get anywhere if they just stand around and let people point and laugh at Childe, so. He starts after his lil illusion bro.] Time to play along, then.
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From the newly green sky, ghost skeletons descendGHOST SKELETONS EMERGE FROM THE GROUND THERE YOUR CANON ACCURACY, and they don't look friendly. Vlad and Childe might get the sense that although the two of them are unarmed, they might not have much to fear with their enhanced physical capabilities, at least. On the other hand, it probably doesn't matter much, as the ghost skeletons don't seem to have noticed them yet.Instead, they start attacking the civilians around them, including the people of Liyue. Screams fill the air! It's not very pleasant. Help them... or don't?
Meanwhile, Childe will find that he's lost sight of the illusion, with no clue as to where it went.]
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Vlad just watches the chaos of the sky literally falling and the people running frantically with a detached sort of distance. ]
Ah. This again.
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Anyways if nothing stops him he's just gonna start walking away, cupping his hands to his mouth and shouting. Bye Vlad and also people who are probably gonna die.]
Teucer! ะะดะต ัั?
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As the skeletons continue to maul people around them and they ignore them, some people show up! For Vlad, it's Danny, of the Fenton variety. Again, I make no claims of being IC here, but it's fine, it's a fake Danny. Danny's doing his best to help the people being attacked, but it's kind of hard when he's an ordinary human right now?
But when he sees Vlad, he turns to him, glaring.]
Why are you just standing there!? This is your own fault, so you could at least take some responsibility!
[Meanwhile, Childe will hear Teucer's voice coming from around a corner.]
Big brother?
[Assuming Childe follows, he'll see Teucer! Safe and unharmed, yaaaaay. He also looks pretty chill with the entire situation, all things considered.]
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Vlad is distracted from Childe's whole...thing...by Danny's appearance and confrontation. Danny does not appear to be at all surprised by his sudden horns but okay, sure, whatever. This is pretty different from the last time anyway. ]
Why, whatever do you mean Daniel? I didn't inflict any of this on you or your little hometown! You think I have any control over Pariah Dark? He conquers as he sees fit.
[ cries i'm sorry for this weird deep ghost lore, this is technically true stuff! he's just also leaving out the bit where he very intentionally provoked Pariah Dark into doing all of this. the point is VLAD REFUSES ANY RESPONSIBILITY WHATSOEVER, at least as far as acknowledging it. ]
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He rounds the corner, putting his hands on his hips. Hi lil bro, please enjoy his new horns, aren't they cool?]
There you are! How many times have I told you not to run off like that, hm? It's dangerous.
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[Does Danny know about this? It doesn't matter, because this is Omniscient (Fake) Danny who also knows that Vlad is still kind of to blame, you incel asshole. :/ Unfortunately, he can't force Vlad into doing anything, as he has to run off and help more people.
Over with Childe: Teucer just smiles up at him, completely unconcerned with monster skeletons trying to kill people. He points up at the horns, making him the only character in this entire CYOA segment to acknowledge anyone's horns, because yeah!! They're cool!!]
What's going on? Are you doing some kind of play?
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Childe, meanwhile, crouches down so that fake Teucer can touch them if he wants! They should probably go somewhere away from the monster skeletons, but eh. Childe will just bust them up if needed? It's probably fine. He does, however, kind of angle himself to try and block Teucer's view of people presumably getting murdered, even if he doesn't seem fazed by it at all.]
Haha, no, not quite. These are a new toy we're testing out, from the research facility. What do you think, don't they look real?
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As he yells, a little girl fleeing from a skeleton runs up to him and grabs his leg. Why him? Because other people are already busying with HELPING OTHERS, Danny included. (Who just scowls at Vlad!! [PG-version of "fuck you" goes here.])
The girl cries.]
Help me, Mister! Please!
[What now.
Over with Childe, who tells lies to children, Teucer touches his horns!! Wow!!! He nods.]
Yeah, they look super real! What kind of toys are they, though? Those people don't look like they're having much fun...
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Oh, what now? What do you want?
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Not that it matters, because Childe just shakes his head.]
Oh, those? Those aren't ours. [WELL IT'S TRUE. Getting to his feet, he holds out his hand.] It doesn't look very safe out here right now, so let's go find somewhere to wait, alright? I'm sure Her Majesty is sending in reinforcements right away.
[Her Majesty the Tsaritsa of This Random Park in America]
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The girl looks up at him, before pointing to the ghost skeletons that are now approaching them.]
I-I can't find Papa, so please, save me! A-And Papa too!
[You're the only one she can count on, Vlad!
Teucer takes his hand, but he looks up at Childe, questioning. Staring deep into his soul (no).]
It's not safe? Are they in trouble, then? ... You're not gonna help them?
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So he picks up the girl, hoisting her up on his hip, and sighs heavily. ]
Very well, let's go find your papa, then.
[ He gives Danny a smug, nasty look--for all that he may know Vlad's true colors, he can't do a damn thing to bring him down because he is a picture perfect model citizen as far as anyone else can see. ]
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First, I have to make sure you're somewhere safe. Remember what I told you? We shouldn't charge into unknown dangers. [And he'll stick to that, keeping hold of Teucer's hand and starting to walk away. There's probably a safe building somewhere around, right? It would be very funny if he and Vlad ended up running back into each other with one (1) newly acquired child each.] But if you promise to stay put when we find somewhere safe, then I'll come see what I can do, alright?
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Your image won't last forever, you know. And then what are you gonna do?
[Anyway. The girl will point at a building. It may or may not conveniently be the building that Childe is looking at.]
We got separated over there...!
[Though if they head on over there, a ghost skeleton shambles on over and tries to stab the girl. I couldn't think of a non-blunt way to say that but there you go.
Teucer follows along and nods with all the sincerity of a small child. Which is to say, he might mean it right now, but no guarantees about how he's feeling five minutes later.]
Yeah, I promise!
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[ And with that last smug retort, Vlad sets off for the building she's pointing at. Ah, look at that--it's his fellow horny man, how convenient.
Then the skeleton comes shambling over and--Vlad barely has to think before he's whipping out his free arm to punch the thing directly in the chest, with all the strength his newly-empowered body has in it.
He hopes it falls apart in a pile of bones and dust. ]
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I mean it, Teucer! You make a pinkie promise, you keep it all your life...
[For those of you reading along at home, the rest of that cute little rhyme is: "You break a pinkie promise, I throw you on the ice. The cold will kill the pinkie that once betrayed your friend, the frost will freeze your tongue off so you never lie again."
FUN SNEZHNAYAN CULTURE FACTS.]
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But when the little girl sees Childe, she gasps and points.]
That looks like the man Papa left Mama for! [WHAT.] Maybe he knows where he is!
[At least Teucer faithfully repeats the rhyme after Childe, why is Russia/fantasy Russia like this. Now go and actually do a decent deed out there, sir.]
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[ Vlad is, if nothing else, passively curious about whatever weird connections are being made here in fake Amity Park. He approaches Childe and once he's done reciting nursery rhymes with his brother, Vlad clears his throat loudly enough to catch his attention. ]
This child says you know her father. Does that ring any bells?
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Also Childe is genuinely good with and fond of kids, so! He'll stop and smile at the girl, shaking his head.]
Hello, young miss. Hmm, I don't think so... can you describe him?
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