Audience: Grace Monroe

[probe]

Comments

[alteracion]

You have my permission to look through my stuff so you can see for yourself. It's really cool. They go super far, too. [ a beat and then, pensive: ] We did have to tell people not to point them at their faces, that's how Lucy lost an eye.

[probe]

Hell yeah. I'll probably peek in.

[...] That uh, wow. That sounds like my friends. The number of times I've had to tell them to not look down the barrel of a wand with several charges left.

[alteracion]

[ which fucking d&d character is this, i hate you. grace turns her head, puzzled ]

Like, magic wands? They have a limited number of charges? I thought those were just. You know. Magic.

[probe]

[what's d&d i've never heard of it]

Depends! Some have charges. Some don't. Sometimes it's a Wand of Smiles, sometimes it's like, a I Cast Fuck You wand. Yay magic.

[alteracion]

[ I HATE THIS ]

So there's not just one wand that does everything all the time?

[probe]

Nope! There are lots. [hehe]

[alteracion]

Okay, but now I have to know, what does a fuck you spell even do?

[probe]

Jesus, I don't know, it's such a broad description. Probably something terrible like putting lego in your shoes.

[alteracion]

Oooh, harsh. I don't think I've seen a wand car, but there's a tiny wizard car on the train? Those things are so weird. They're these weird bearded gnomes that can only say spell and eat rats.

[probe]

A - a what.

[they sound utterly delighted by this.] Tiny gnomes that cast spells? Take me home with you, holy shit. I have to see the Gnome Wizard Car.

[alteracion]

They're better outside their own cars. They're in some like, dark cave and when they're in there they immediately attack anyone who isn't a tiny wizard. It's annoying.

[ but clearly funny, so, sure, let's talk about the tiny wizard car ]

[probe]

See, that's what I Cast Fuck You is for. Explode a gnome.

[alteracion]

I thought it put legos in shoes?

[probe]

Exploding legos. [hehehe]

[alteracion]

That's like, way worse than what I thought it did? [ so why does she seem a little delighted about it. chaos rule. ] I just kick 'em if they try and start something.

[probe]

[they laugh.]

Just punt them! [...] Yeet.

[alteracion]

They can zap me all they want, I'm like, ten times taller than them. [ makes that like, golf swing motion ] Yeet.

[probe]

[gremlin cackling.]

Maybe when this whole thing is over I can come see. Think I'm worthy enough for The Train?

[alteracion]

[ she looks wrath up and down dramatically ]

Hmmmmm.... maybe. I don't really know what you can do yet.

[probe]

Wow, the judgement. Look, my resume is uh, very complex. I made a guy talk in gibberish for thirty minutes and also wrangled a bunch of clowns into a room to solve a murder, I think that counts for something?

[alteracion]

Hmmmm... [ thinking dramatically ] I guess I'll allow it. Mostly for the gibberish thing, that was funny.

[probe]

Wasn't it, though? He deserved it. What a butthole.

[alteracion]

[ he's dead this week so this is funny ]

Isn't he? He's so smug all the time. What's he even got to be smug about?

[probe]

[this does not change wrath's opinion]

Definitely nothing! He's not even that good looking, jeez.

[alteracion]

"That" good looking?

[ grace would argue he's not good looking at all so this is funny ]