I'm- okay, maybe not FINE but I'll be okay? it's just kind of hard to not think about.
I got separated from everyone else pretty fast, and then I just
I kept seeing you guys? And you were getting what you wanted, and you were happy about it, and you were all leaving me behind. one at a time. telling me it didn't ever matter, I was just here for you to get what you wanted. and if I ever asked anyone not to go, or said anything at all, then they killed me but I just
came back for it to happen again with somebody else.
It wouldn't have shown to you if it wasn't designed to strike you in your worst fears. That seems to have been the intent.
[Long . . . pause]
I think sometimes about this ending, and how for so many of the people here who have called me their friend, this will only be a brief, horrible experience that perhaps helped them achieve their desires, and they'll want to move past it, and forget. I feel such ugly, destructive things about that notion.
I don't want to be like that, either. I fear that
[. . .]
I promise that my ugliest thoughts are such that I could never judge you for yours.
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I got separated from everyone else pretty fast, and then I just
I kept seeing you guys? And you were getting what you wanted, and you were happy about it, and you were all leaving me behind. one at a time. telling me it didn't ever matter, I was just here for you to get what you wanted. and if I ever asked anyone not to go, or said anything at all, then they killed me but I just
came back for it to happen again with somebody else.
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[She knows enough about his fears by now to know how awful that must have been.]
I'm so sorry.
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I don't know
it's really hard to get it out of my head. I don't like how jealous I felt over seeing some of you guys leave together, I don't WANT to be like that
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[Long . . . pause]
I think sometimes about this ending, and how for so many of the people here who have called me their friend, this will only be a brief, horrible experience that perhaps helped them achieve their desires, and they'll want to move past it, and forget. I feel such ugly, destructive things about that notion.
I don't want to be like that, either. I fear that
[. . .]
I promise that my ugliest thoughts are such that I could never judge you for yours.
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I don't want anyone to move on and just forget about me either, or to never see people I cared about again.
[there's a delay between messages.]
hey, um
even if everyone else does, I promise I'm not going to forget about it, okay? or about you.
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I won't forget you, either.
But come. What have we discussed. Everyone leaving you behind is an illusion, not reality. No one wants you left forgotten here.
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my brain usually operates on 'it's reality until proven otherwise'
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Pride said you saved his life.
[And then he got beheaded anyway, but oh well.]