this is going to sound weird, probably, but that part doesn't bother me? I'm not really... upset that they died, death is just a part of what happens. there's not really any point getting all bent out of shape over somebody's death.
I'm just upset over the decision to kill them, I guess.
to some extent probably also about the way that nobody really bothered asking if I would be okay without any of them here until after they were all gone
I know. But presumably with the chance to return with whatever it was that made us choose to come here. Which will no doubt make my life whole and complete and happy even though I don't remember what it is.
that's what most people are after, anyway-- in one way or another. even if it's not directly what they want, then accomplishing what they're here for should make them happy on some level, you'd think
sort of a 'can't miss what you don't have' situation, yeah?
it was like that before. I didn't really know what it was like to have people around who I could actually talk to, or who actually, you know. wanted to spend time with me and everything
but now it's going to be something that I miss, I think, when you guys are gone.
Oh, stop it. If you have the choice to go somewhere else, do yourself a favor and ask for that. Don't assume you'll be unwanted and then make yourself sad over it.
When I'm back on the Mithraeum being called an inept four year old during open discussions of the manner in which I will likely die, I'll be so cross if I learn you could have been having a nice time and chose to be miserable in a shitty space station of your own.
Are you only planning on denying yourself a life of misery if it's accompanied by a marriage proposal? That seems stupid. Being a third wheel to someone who likes you is better than being a zero wheel.
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I'm just upset over the decision to kill them, I guess.
to some extent probably also about the way that nobody really bothered asking if I would be okay without any of them here until after they were all gone
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But you're right - once you were down to two, we ought to have asked.
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but I keep getting scolded because things that don't matter to me definitely matter a lot to other people so I don't know, maybe it does
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[Wow!!]
But I suspect your position here is difficult in ways I don't understand.
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it's not as bad as it could be, though? I'm used to
I'm not alone here so it's by default kind of better than what I was used to beforehand
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I feel that way, too. All of this is preferable to where I was before. Grim, isn't it?
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maybe? I wouldn't call it grim, really, but. it's definitely like that.
I don't really want to go back to that, either, but- you're all either going to die or go back to where you were.
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I know. But presumably with the chance to return with whatever it was that made us choose to come here. Which will no doubt make my life whole and complete and happy even though I don't remember what it is.
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but then what happens if you find something that makes you happy here, you know? it makes everything more complicated.
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I suppose. I don't know if I sincerely expect to be happy either way. I doubt that's the goal I'm after.
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but I don't know if I will be, either, so.
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it was like that before. I didn't really know what it was like to have people around who I could actually talk to, or who actually, you know. wanted to spend time with me and everything
but now it's going to be something that I miss, I think, when you guys are gone.
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Yes. Me too.
Does that mean you'll stay behind here even after we leave?
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I don't think anyone is going to want me with them or anything so idk, I'll figure it out at some point, if I can go anywhere but here
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When I'm back on the Mithraeum being called an inept four year old during open discussions of the manner in which I will likely die, I'll be so cross if I learn you could have been having a nice time and chose to be miserable in a shitty space station of your own.
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[he just. immediately reads that as a form of caring, because he will take any type of it.]
it still is a nice thought and everything but I also wouldn't want to go third-wheel somebody or something
and they would probably have to want it to make it happen? I assume? I genuinely don't know if I would even be able to leave
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I really would.
Are you only planning on denying yourself a life of misery if it's accompanied by a marriage proposal? That seems stupid. Being a third wheel to someone who likes you is better than being a zero wheel.
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I mean, you do know I'm the Avatar of Envy and all of the associated business
it'd be better. I think I might still be jealous that they didn't like me as much.
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[So mean. But. She's being kind of serious.]
If my sin is Despair, should I just lie down and cry about my problems instead of trying to do something about them?
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it's not something I've had to deal with before, specifically
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