Audience: White

[probe]

Comments

[probe]

[...well that all makes sense to her and it lines up with what she actually knows and believes about white as a person. there's zero surprise here, even if there's a flare-up of sympathy and also a little worry.

so she doesn't reply right away as she thinks of the right words to say.]

...I think a lot of it comes down to trying to decide what it is you want to do for yourself, and not for the people you care about. Sometimes...I mean. I get it. I do. You have people you like a lot and people you care about, so you'd do just about anything for them even if it's not normally in line with what you'd do. And it always sucks when you find that it was never gonna go the way you thought it would.

I don't think any of your actions were pointless, because they were sincere. But I think it's also understandable to be disappointed anyway.

[enfangs]

[what he wants to do for himself? the irony for someone whose lifelong motto has practically been "me, myself andi" is that he doesn't know what that is. on his worst days, he barely understands who he is. (barely knows what he'd do with a future, if granted one.) it's why he can't help but seek it in others.]

... Well, I'll get over it.

[for better or for worse, white's tolerance for this kind of thing can be rather high. at the end of the day, he loves mineo (and endorsi, whO IS ALSO OUT THERE, CONFESSING MURDER TO HIM) and that matters more than anything.

... which is maybe, like, counterproductive to what lust is trying to say, but that's how it is.]

[probe]

[she's not going to strongarm him out of feeling the way he feels and doing what he wants to do, if only because she does understand it.]

...it'll be fine. It hurts for a while, and then you remember your motivation if it really is the thing you want. And if it isn't, you'll find your motivation again. That's how it works.

[a beat.] ...but I also don't doubt they both appreciate it.

[enfangs]

... It's not about them appreciating it.

[well. it'd be nice if they were happy? which feels like a pipe dream, but anyway. whether they're happy in relation to him is irrelevant.]

[probe]

Then what's it actually about? [she is eventually going to scare him into not talking and that terrifies her? she's trying to be as open but delicate as possible, so he can probably tell she's a little nervous about this conversation.]

[enfangs]

... I dunno. I just—want them to feel better in general, I guess.

[probe]

You're like a protector. [she doesn't elaborate.] Seeing them upset just sort of makes you upset by proxy because you care about them, right?

[enfangs]

... That sounds fuckin' sappy, but... maybe.

[probe]

You say that like being sappy is always a bad thing.

[enfangs]

[he gives her a dead look.]

[probe]

Look, you can either be a tough guy with some sappy purposeful moments or you can be totally tsundere. Which do you want?

[enfangs]

... Why are those my only options!?

[probe]

[unfortunately the only answer is a laugh.]

Okay, if you want another option then what would you pick?

[enfangs]

Can't I just be a tough guy without—any of those?

[probe]

What's so good about being a tough guy anyway?

[enfangs]

[opens his mouth








closes it]

[probe]

[...white...

...she waits! patiently! for an answer :)]

[enfangs]

[he

looks away!]

[probe]

You could just admit I'm right. I won't tell.

[enfangs]

S-Shut up...

[probe]

Nope. [another sparkle of fond feelings.] Seriously...toxic masculinity is really bad, White.

[enfangs]

Why is this what I'm being scolded on, of all things...

[probe]

Because I'm giving you a break since I'm pretty sure it's easier for you to argue with me than be honest with me sometimes.

[enfangs]

[... well, he can't say anything to that.]

[probe]

[...she just uses her foot to kick him lightly.]

You're gonna have to deal with this, but I will tell you literally every day that you're a good person who deserves good things and it's not because you're some big macho guy.