Audience: Luca Valentino

[probe]

Comments

[probe]

Yes? You can bribe someone else for a sword.

[they seem amused, though.] You have something you can defend yourself with, anyway.

[notaccurate]

Ah yes, if someone tries to attack me I will just grow grass in front of them. They might trip.

[probe]

Hey, you never know. Be creative. Grow vines in someone's lungs.

[notaccurate]

You took that in a more morbid direction than I imagined.

[probe]

[BIG SHRUG.]

I mean, if someone is trying to attack you, are you gonna just stand there and let them stab you, or are you going to cast fuck you?

[notaccurate]

Normally I would make them stab themselves instead, but you won't let me have my powers here.

[There's a reason why Luca's second sin on his app was Wrath.]

[probe]

Sucks to be you!

[wrath, be nice.] Make do with what you've got.

[notaccurate]

But I could teach you to do it too, if you let me have my powers back. You can't tell me you wouldn't want to make someone slap themselves in the face if you could.

[probe]

Oh, I would. But I can already do that, so I don't need you to mansplain magic to me.

[notaccurate]

-'mansplain'?

[probe]

[a pause.]

Ask Sheila.

[notaccurate]

She's probably going to tell me the wrong thing on purpose to make me look like a fool. Is there someone else I can ask?

[probe]

[snort.]

I - Envy, probably? Envy probably knows.

[notaccurate]

Alright, I will ask Envy then.

But just for clarification: what I do is a branch of science, not magic.

[probe]

Eh. Science and magic are the same, about half the time.

[notaccurate]

And what about the other half?

[probe]

Don't make me think about the last sentence I said. Once it's out of my mouth it's gone and it's not my problem anymore.

[notaccurate]

...well, what if we compare our methods and see if they're the same or not? And if they're different, we can learn from each other.

[Luca they're not going to give you your powers, stop asking.]

[probe]

Nope.

You can't charm your want into my pants to get yourself a sword so stop trying!

[notaccurate]

I'm not even trying to get into your pants, you already made it clear that's not a good idea! This is about scientific discovery!

[probe]

Scientific discovery of what.

[notaccurate]

Making people punch themselves.

[probe]

I - well. I can't say that's not a science that I can't get behind, actually.

[notaccurate]

See? It's an excellent idea.

[probe]

Anyway, you can't have a weapon. And I'm not going to be any good at showing you how to use them. You all assume just because I'm Wrath means I'm good with weapons and that's just wrathist!