Audience: Luca Valentino

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Comments

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[here they come, fire feets leaving a trail of flame behind them.]

Don Quixote, huh? That one of Greed's? [they say, tilting their head to try and get a better look.]

[notaccurate]

It is. They lent it to me to read after we had a heartfelt discussion of reading topics.

[He. Is going to keep the book safely away from the fire. Sorry Wrath.]

[probe]

By heartfelt, do you mean you argued? [they seem amused. also the flames don't seem to be burning anything, at least.]

[notaccurate]

Oh no, it was a rather nice discussion. They were not disagreeable at all.

[probe]

Surprising. Greed likes arguing.

... Maybe just with me.

[notaccurate]

It could be a personality clash. I find Sheila to be intolerable but others get along with her.

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Wow, rude, Sheila is a saint. [apparently wrath is one of them]

[notaccurate]

She covered the floor in lube so I would slip on it and fall down.

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Yeah. That's hysterical.

[notaccurate]

It wasn't hilarious from my point of view...

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Objectively it's pretty funny.

Anyway. I'm not giving you an actual sword.

[notaccurate]

You would leave me weak and defenseless, all alone?

[He is being dramatic to appeal to their emotions.]

[probe]

Yes? You can bribe someone else for a sword.

[they seem amused, though.] You have something you can defend yourself with, anyway.

[notaccurate]

Ah yes, if someone tries to attack me I will just grow grass in front of them. They might trip.

[probe]

Hey, you never know. Be creative. Grow vines in someone's lungs.

[notaccurate]

You took that in a more morbid direction than I imagined.

[probe]

[BIG SHRUG.]

I mean, if someone is trying to attack you, are you gonna just stand there and let them stab you, or are you going to cast fuck you?

[notaccurate]

Normally I would make them stab themselves instead, but you won't let me have my powers here.

[There's a reason why Luca's second sin on his app was Wrath.]

[probe]

Sucks to be you!

[wrath, be nice.] Make do with what you've got.

[notaccurate]

But I could teach you to do it too, if you let me have my powers back. You can't tell me you wouldn't want to make someone slap themselves in the face if you could.

[probe]

Oh, I would. But I can already do that, so I don't need you to mansplain magic to me.

[notaccurate]

-'mansplain'?

[probe]

[a pause.]

Ask Sheila.

[notaccurate]

She's probably going to tell me the wrong thing on purpose to make me look like a fool. Is there someone else I can ask?

[probe]

[snort.]

I - Envy, probably? Envy probably knows.