Audience: Luca Valentino

[probe]

Comments

[notaccurate]

I'm just going to ask him, you know that right?

Also he told me to ask you for swords. He wants to train me in how to protect myself.

[probe]

aw beans and here i thought you were interested in me as a person and not just for what i could give you

[notaccurate]

It can be both, you know. You could also teach me how to defend myself if you like? It could be a way for us to bond.

[probe]

well, can't promise anything as far as swords go because i suck with those
but sure, bonding. where you at, bud?

[notaccurate]

Rec room currently.

[He is there, and he's sitting in a beanbag chair reading 'Don Quixote'.]

[probe]

[here they come, fire feets leaving a trail of flame behind them.]

Don Quixote, huh? That one of Greed's? [they say, tilting their head to try and get a better look.]

[notaccurate]

It is. They lent it to me to read after we had a heartfelt discussion of reading topics.

[He. Is going to keep the book safely away from the fire. Sorry Wrath.]

[probe]

By heartfelt, do you mean you argued? [they seem amused. also the flames don't seem to be burning anything, at least.]

[notaccurate]

Oh no, it was a rather nice discussion. They were not disagreeable at all.

[probe]

Surprising. Greed likes arguing.

... Maybe just with me.

[notaccurate]

It could be a personality clash. I find Sheila to be intolerable but others get along with her.

[probe]

Wow, rude, Sheila is a saint. [apparently wrath is one of them]

[notaccurate]

She covered the floor in lube so I would slip on it and fall down.

[probe]

Yeah. That's hysterical.

[notaccurate]

It wasn't hilarious from my point of view...

[probe]

Objectively it's pretty funny.

Anyway. I'm not giving you an actual sword.

[notaccurate]

You would leave me weak and defenseless, all alone?

[He is being dramatic to appeal to their emotions.]

[probe]

Yes? You can bribe someone else for a sword.

[they seem amused, though.] You have something you can defend yourself with, anyway.

[notaccurate]

Ah yes, if someone tries to attack me I will just grow grass in front of them. They might trip.

[probe]

Hey, you never know. Be creative. Grow vines in someone's lungs.

[notaccurate]

You took that in a more morbid direction than I imagined.

[probe]

[BIG SHRUG.]

I mean, if someone is trying to attack you, are you gonna just stand there and let them stab you, or are you going to cast fuck you?

[notaccurate]

Normally I would make them stab themselves instead, but you won't let me have my powers here.

[There's a reason why Luca's second sin on his app was Wrath.]

[probe]

Sucks to be you!

[wrath, be nice.] Make do with what you've got.

[notaccurate]

But I could teach you to do it too, if you let me have my powers back. You can't tell me you wouldn't want to make someone slap themselves in the face if you could.