Audience: Ashiya Douman

[probe]

Comments

[commedia]

A dark priest? Huhuhu. I am only as dark as I ever need to be.

[But they are clearly not offended by the observation, letting out a hum.]

You are familiar with masters, hm? I only ask as a Servant who is not accustomed to working in such...restrained situations. That is, it isn't as if I am asked to promote destruction and death and carnage and the like, haha! But to simply serve...perhaps Kaz is right, and one needs to develop such skills?

[probe]

It should not be too difficult. If you are already perfect at everything you do, adding another skill will only take one or two attempts. It is not our fault mortals have ridiculous conditions for how things are completed.

[they motion to the kitchen.]

Such as food requiring a particular taste.

[commedia]

["Our" fault? Oh. How very interesting. Douman's gaze turns a little more interested, a little more intrigued.]

Yes, yes, of course. Things that can be simplified are needlessly complicated! Ahhh, if only everyone knew that there are paths and ways to avoid all that, but...hm! I digress.

[A nod.]

But yes, cooking especially...one needs to know the tastes of the consumer ahead of time, for it to be perfect.

[probe]

Or that taste is even a part of cooking at all.

[the glowing orange eyes slit like they may be smiling.]

Very well. I am at your disposal. But I must warn you: I am a very strict teacher.

[commedia]

And I am a very hard worker.

[There's...something to the way they say that. There's a touch of sincerity that wasn't there before.]

But yes, yes! Thank you. I would be honored to learn from such a master.

[probe]

Excellent.

[the spade-shaped, black tail sways behind them gently.]

What would you like to learn then? I can teach all manner of things. Cooking, tailoring, musical instruments, swordsmanship, arithmetic or languages. Those are only some.

[commedia]

[Douman was about to say just cooking, but something in that list draws their attention.]

Swordsmanship? [Douman hums, stroking their chin.] Admittedly, I am not one for fighting, nor was I summoned as a Saber, but...you could really teach a thing like that?

[probe]

Yes. It is all a matter of what you would like to learn. Typically, I would teach fencing. However, I do know other forms of combat.

It is not... a preferred method. It lacks creative glamour. But it is not as mindlessly simple as, say, shooting a gun.

[commedia]

I see. Fencing as I know of it is a graceful art of swordsmanship...though I can see why it wouldn't be something to choose in the heat of battle.

But now you have me curious. What is your preferred method?

[probe]

[the glowing orange eyes in the hood slit a bit as if "hehe"]

Why my bare hands, of course. Or perhaps knives.

[commedia]

Bare hands...?

[Douman can't help but smile in return to that, their fingers flexing, cutely painted green fingernails evident.]

Ahaha. We think alike. There's nothing better than that raw feeling of tearing an enemy apart like that.

[probe]

[can't believe douman is getting turned on being talked "dirty" to]

It is quite satisfying. Mortals are extremely fragile especially.

[commedia]

[STOP THEY JUST LIKE TALKING ABOUT MURDER]

But of course, of course! How funny...their mind...their bones...their wills...their prides...all can be broken, in an instant. But the physical method is delightful, indeed.

[probe]

[..................

...

sorry, hold on one second, they needed a moment. just one. and then they clear their throat quietly.]

Yes. It is what makes their spirits so delicious.

[commedia]

[you saying douman is getting turned on when gluttony is over here pausing all of a sudden.]

...Oh? [And Douman instantly hones in on that.] You eat their spirits? Aha, ever so fitting for Gluttony.

[probe]

[well, douman seems to be...........of similar cloth (haha), so. no use beating around the bush.]

Their souls. But I have tired of tasting any old mundane soul. They have grown boring and disgusting. I prefer more ripened souls.

[commedia]

[mods i hate that douman is vibing with mostly every npc so far]

So you are a connoisseur of souls? Mmmm! How wonderful. [And Douman actually seems delighted? Terrible.] Tell me, "ripening"...do you let them grow until you harvest them for your own? A feast is more delicious if you wait for the peak of its flavor, how true...

[probe]

[yeah stop please.]

It takes exactly the right sort of cultivation to make a delicious soul. Simply sinning is not enough. Plenty do. Plenty are hungry for power, or fame.

But revenge... Being a tortured soul, and knowing your soul is dirty nonetheless, and yet, pressing ever onward... It takes so long, but it us worth it.

[commedia]

Revenge...ahaha. Yes...oh, you should have seen the one I assigned myself to a while ago. A vengeful soul, traveling through timelines, only to see his people dying horrifically in every one of them. Oh, the poor young man went mad, and vowed destruction on the world...

[A sad, tragic tale, and yet Douman is speaking of it like talking about a fish that got away.]

Something like that, where the soul blackens, yet burns forever onward in hatred and spite...I may not eat souls exactly myself, but I can certainly understand your tastes.

[probe]

Ah. Yes... [they are deadass standing there with their tail not moving, one hand over their chest reverently.] That sounds like a most delicious soul.

[...

thank god douman doesn't like to eat them.]

Pardon me, but... do you... like cats...?

[commedia]

[douman: yeah bro you can have the soul i'll just take the rest]

...Mmm? Cats? Yes, I suppose I do...why do you ask?

[probe]

[don't make this a tag-team!!!]

I was only curious. [are they vetting douman...?] There are some here, is all, I am ensuring their safety.

[commedia]

[what's better than this? partnering with someone to just hecking eat a person?]

...There are cats here? [They look surprised.] Where are they?

[probe]

Yes. There are four of them, very beautiful, and very magnificent. Typically, they remain in my room, but a few are known to roam.

And I believe a few of the other Avatars have absconded with them on occasion.

[commedia]

...

Can I see them?