...Ah. Yes, yes. I apologize. There are such things that are better for the soul when done on one's own.
[And a pause - there's a bit of a bittersweet smile on their face as they sip at their tea.]
Honestly, I didn't indulge in such hobbies when I was alive. I had so much work, day in and day out, and I...thought that was all this humble priest had to do, considering the amount of work I put on my own plate to keep up with the rest. [A hum.] So, looking back, I admire that. Finding something to soothe the soul for yourself.
You exist in some sense, do you not? There are many who would say this is all that is required to consider there to be a soul. You have a mind and personality, though I do suppose the completeness of your existence as a whole may be up for some debate.
Its odd, ever so odd. Ashiya Douman, the preeminent onmyouji rival of that despicable Abe no Seimei, the one who killed Seimei...there was never much in history recorded of him. Just a role in another's story.
[Even if the true Douman is deep inside, that doesn't change the fact that the Servant, the Heroic Spirit, was based on...what, exactly?]
People pick and choose what to remember. My "whole existence" was never that from the start, haha.
[A being from the slim pickings of history, the weight of biased perceptions, the sorrow and hatred and envy of a man gone wrong.]
A partial product of incomplete memory, cobbled together into a false existence. A person who, by all rights, should not have existed at all-- and yet here you are, regardless. Testament to the persistence of that which was best left forgotten.
[their face may not be visible, but it isn't hard to tell they are watching douman in a sort of detached way, tone very nearly clinical, just light enough to keep it from being truly so-- nearly approaching casual.]
And persist you do! How far you have gone- and how fortunate to find yourself here. I very much doubt you would ever touch what you seek with your own hands, were it not for this opportunity.
...Haha, please, you'll make this humble priest blush.
[A celebration of the fake, the imposter, the collage of real and not real. It feels like what Mineo said - nice words that Douman knows, deep down, they don't deserve.]
[But how touching, all the same.]
So an "Alter Ego" can really survive in this world. [A smile, and a huff.] This opportunity...I thank you for that. I am eternally grateful, for even this chance to sit here, and talk to you as I am.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
[And a pause - there's a bit of a bittersweet smile on their face as they sip at their tea.]
Honestly, I didn't indulge in such hobbies when I was alive. I had so much work, day in and day out, and I...thought that was all this humble priest had to do, considering the amount of work I put on my own plate to keep up with the rest. [A hum.] So, looking back, I admire that. Finding something to soothe the soul for yourself.
no subject
[how is the clownery working out for you so far, douman.]
no subject
[A sort of rueful smile.]
Do you think I have a soul?
no subject
no subject
[Haha. Yeah. That is...]
Its odd, ever so odd. Ashiya Douman, the preeminent onmyouji rival of that despicable Abe no Seimei, the one who killed Seimei...there was never much in history recorded of him. Just a role in another's story.
[Even if the true Douman is deep inside, that doesn't change the fact that the Servant, the Heroic Spirit, was based on...what, exactly?]
People pick and choose what to remember. My "whole existence" was never that from the start, haha.
[A being from the slim pickings of history, the weight of biased perceptions, the sorrow and hatred and envy of a man gone wrong.]
[Of course, they would never be complete.]
no subject
[their face may not be visible, but it isn't hard to tell they are watching douman in a sort of detached way, tone very nearly clinical, just light enough to keep it from being truly so-- nearly approaching casual.]
And persist you do! How far you have gone- and how fortunate to find yourself here. I very much doubt you would ever touch what you seek with your own hands, were it not for this opportunity.
no subject
[A celebration of the fake, the imposter, the collage of real and not real. It feels like what Mineo said - nice words that Douman knows, deep down, they don't deserve.]
[But how touching, all the same.]
So an "Alter Ego" can really survive in this world. [A smile, and a huff.] This opportunity...I thank you for that. I am eternally grateful, for even this chance to sit here, and talk to you as I am.
no subject
[they said none of that as a compliment.]
no subject
I'll have to work hard, then. Indulge all I can, yes? For my existence.