Audience: Ashiya Douman

[probe]

Comments

[commedia]

[That's...interesting. Even Douman as they are are familiar with curses and the like, but this is nothing like they've seen before.]

I understand. It isn't a typical thing to see.

[Not that they know anyone else with holes in their chests, but hey. They reach forward again, fingertip tracing around the edge of it, lightly.]

Could it have something to do with your ability? Being able to see ghosts...

[probe]

...it does, yeah.

[he exhales a shaky breath at the touch.]

I'm, uh. I'm basically a point of crossover? So I'm really easily possessed, and that kind of thing. Something-- used me to break through, that's the first time I died.

[commedia]

[A pause...and deep, deep sympathy comes over the connection. Easily possessed? Yes, of course. Douman knows that well, even though it was only once.]

I'm sorry...something used you like that. [Like a gateway, or a door. Envy isn't that.] And you...died? Multiple times? How horrible. But...either way...I don't find it strange.

[They lean in for a gentle kiss to Envy's cheek.]

["You're just like me".]

[probe]

I mean, after the first time, I usually knew it was coming? I kind of, uh, knew it was going to happen most of the time, I just did it anyway because I'd come back.

[sometimes! you just die so other people don't have to!

there's a sensation of warmth with that kiss, though, and while he does zip the hoodie back up, not quite comfortable being uncovered if someone wanders by... he definitely feels less anxious.]

[commedia]

...

[There's a bit of concern here like. Envy. Please. Dying is Not Fun, but...]

I suppose I can understand that. For me, pseudo-immortality is...quite the state to be in. [Throwing bodies aside like they're trash...its a Thing. Douman squeezes Envy's hand, happy to feel the anxiety waning.] Death isn't quite as taxing as it is for the average person.

[probe]

Exactly-- it still sucks to die, but it's not like it's a huge inconvenience?

[he squeezes douman's hand back, with a little shrug.]

[commedia]

Yes, that's exactly it.

[Its just...another state.]

Though I guess its harder to do things when one stays dead. So I'm glad you can come to us and talk to us like this.

[probe]

-me too. I never would've gotten to meet you otherwise, y'know?

[a little smile, there, soft and fond.]

Has everything still been okay?

[commedia]

[Some fond, bashful surprise at that - Douman glances away.]

Well... [And a bit of those disgruntled feelings from before return.] Things have been well, for the most part. People have been nice. [A beat.] That time in that giant bird creature was...not nice, though.

w6, saturday

[probe]

[not long after that last text, envy shows up at douman's room! assuming it's not locked, he'll just. slide on in and make himself comfortably, coming right to them and curling against them.]

-hey. Sure you're doing okay? Not too drunk?

[commedia]

Mmm?

[Douman lifts up their head from where they're sprawled on the bed. However, Envy is already coming over, so with a huff, they turn and wrap their arms around the other, shifting close.]

Probably...a lot drunk. [A light laugh.] I'm just tired.

[probe]

...me too.

[he wraps his arms around them in turn, with a little sigh.]

Just gonna sleep it off?

[commedia]

Maybe.

[There's a long pause. They feel warm, but there's an underlying sadness underneath it all.]

...I was just upset over the trial. Reminded me...too much of my own life.

[probe]

...how so? You can talk, if you want. If it'd help you.

[commedia]

...

[A sigh, snuggling closer.]

I'm tired of...seeing when people are loved, and easily forgiven for their deeds. I know that sounds terrible. But the fact is...I was never loved. I was always just...second best. An outsider. They would go after me for small things, while those who were liked were treated as if they hadn't done a thing.

[And it had brought jealousy, so much jealousy. Its true - envy really is their sin, to their core.]

All I ever wanted to be was to be treated just like everyone else, and to be lauded for my skills, not spit on for them.

w7, monday

[probe]

...I don't know, honestly?

maybe it isn't impossible but

it probably was not supposed to happen that way

[commedia]

What do you mean by that? Us all surviving?

I know that some Avatars expected us all to die for the sake of their wishes. So that doesn't surprise me.

[probe]

...yeah

that was kind of the idea, I didn't really think there might be a way to keep any of you guys safe

but it was the best option we had?

[commedia]

But what about now? There might be options. We've been learning a lot, here. About what you all went through, about what that creature is.

If there was a chance to nullify that creature's influence over all of us, over you...would you take it?

[probe]

if there was, then maybe?? I don't know, honestly

I know if it ends up not working, I don't think I want to just leave you guys behind, though

[commedia]

Then don't.

Don't abandon us. Don't abandon me.

If there is a chance to free you from this, I would take it. And I hope you can do the same. I want you to be happy, not trapped forever.

[probe]

...I want you to be, too.

if you guys get stuck here, I'm going to stay, and just- try to make sure you don't get forever vored or something. maybe I could do that.

[commedia]

Maybe?

Envy, I know how far you've come. I will defend you as much as I can.

If we find a way out of this, will you join us? Help us?

[probe]

I don't know if I'd be able to, Shiya

whether I wanted to or not

[commedia]

Is it because you're connected to it?

What is holding you back? Your wish? That thing? Tell me, please.