The emperor declared me his guardian officially, but I was already calling myself such when we were in Yanhui. [ a soft huff, and, a little more -- there's a hint of vulnerability to it, even. ] Parenting is really difficult - I don't think I have much of a knack for it, Lup.
Even still, that child - he's been through a lot. His mother was cruel to him, and I ended up caring for him more than she really did, but Ji Ping - ah. My second in command. He's got a better hand for it than I do. I'm busy, and constantly have to be out at the battlefield. Sometimes, I think he resents me, but, he's just a teenager, and...
[ there's a pause, here. gu yun looks at lup, covered in lava and transformed like that, and feels the twist of anxiety he'd felt, over and over, that care. the way he felt receiving that letter, all those months ago. ]
...We're the only family that we have, though. Just he and I.
there's a brief moment where he holds still, and then shakes his head, coming over. he doesn't sit as close to lup as he might normally, but leans against the wall. just close enough. ]
I'm - I'm the cooler one. [she insists. she still sounds distant and sort of fuzzy.] Wizards... uh.
[she thinks, for a moment, pulling her knees even closer.] Cast spells. And create really powerful weapons, and... [sniff.] And forget their sisters, I guess.
he frowns, a little, at the forgetting, again, and tilts his head to look at her properly. the topic feels...broaching it feels a little dangerous.
he pauses, choosing his words carefully. ]
When you're able to travel from world to world, we'll find him, and I'll come with. Shake him by his ankles until he remembers. Gently. [ all of his words. even the we. ]
Say that, and I will. I'm rather good at daring rescues.
[ don't challenge him! he says it lightly, but - he means it, too. even if he knows nothing about magic or magical worlds or world hopping or what have you. those were the fanciful daydreams that came up last week, and... well, he's allowed himself to think on it a bit, once or twice, since.
shifting, tilting his head over to look at her, though. ] That was in that memory of yours I experienced. How long has it been since then...? Not counting this place.
How long has... what, since I've been in the umbrella?
[she slowly brings a hand down, looking at it. it's cooling over, molten rock. a daring rescue sounds... nice. it makes her feel better to think about. she's never really needed to be rescued before, and she doesn't want to start now, but the sentiment is nice.]
[ he doesn't mean for it to, but - a soft liangese curse slips out of his mouth, eyes a little wide. a decade longer, trapped in an umbrella by some strange means of magic.
his mouth curls downwards into more of a frown, at the thought, and after a pause, he shakes his head. ] ...From a prison to a prison, in some sense.
[she inches her hand across to him, resting it on his silks. they don't catch fire! yay...]
Mmhm. [...] I can touch people here, though. And see, and hear. Haha, we have that in common, sort of. It took a long time to figure out how to hear and see while I was stuck.
no, kidding. he drops his hand, and carefully places it over hers, minding where his fingertips land. if it's too warm, he doesn't flinch. ]
It is terrible, isn't it? [ a soft wryness to that. it's a sense of empathy and... respect, too, for lup, for what she's been through, and for what she's going through now. ] ...But. With perseverance, it can be overcome.
[ ... good. carefully, he threads their fingers together, and nods. ]
So you are.
[ .... ]
... you know, most of the time, I am rather good at talking. There are a few subjects that even I struggle with, though. Some things that take time. [ as he's saying this, he glances absently down at his hand - at the claws he's let come in and out all week, trying to take advantage of the just slightly better hearing and sight that's come in waves. pride, and all of that. ]
What you said to me last week. [ it's not very specific, considering, but - lup probably knows. at least, if she didn't before... well. his cheeks start to turn pink. ] It's mutual.
[ it's just - it's complicated. lup had checked with him all those weeks ago (is that okay with you about despair, and he'd laughed and waved it off, and it was, but -- well. there's another feeling tucked right next to this one, for someone else, too.) ]
Edited (dont eat my tag wtf ) 2021-03-31 04:25 (UTC)
oh. she finally looks over at him, expression startled. for a second, she's silent, still, and then - he'll notice the black soot at the tips of her fingers recedes a little. the glasgow smile of lava shrinks.
it's complicated. she knows there's someone else for the both of them, but... even this much, even an acknowledgement, something that he gives her now, when she looks like this, after what she's done to him. she just sort of stops breathing for a second, and then:]
H-haha. You really had me feeling like a loser for two weeks, you know? [but she's holding his hand so tightly, refusing to let go.]
[ ah. the red flush starts to spread a little further on his cheeks, and gu yun clears his throat in that long silence, looking absolutely anywhere but at her face because he's going to die whether she's lavafied at the moment or not if he looks. ]
... There are things, I suppose, I'm still fairly inexperienced in. [ a beat, and he mutters, reaching up to rub his nose with his free hand. ] ...sorry.
[she hiccups - and then she laughs, a noise that's more relieved than anything. she wants to kiss him so bad, but she doesn't. she's too out of her body to do it, it freaks her out. so instead, she strokes his hand with her thumb, and looks away. tries to make it a little easier on him.]
Don't apologize. You don't have to feel that way at all, and you uh, you sure didn't have to tell me. [a pause.]
[ there, that's much more familiar - his usual playful, teasing lilt, as he pulls up that warm hand to press a kiss to her fingertips. like this, even his hands are warm. ] I'm glad to hear it, Lup.
[another hiccup laugh, and the soot black recedes a little further. her name, her name, her name, and a feeling returned. she holds onto it. she won't be a monster, not with this in her heart.]
I - uh. I uh. [just SAY IT. the blush doesn't show up, but she swallows hard, and:] Love you, Zixi.
We will. [ that's easier. it's the conviction that colors how he looks at everything - once gu zixi sets his mind to something, he will make it happen. ] All or nothing.
[ attempting the impossible and achieving it, he'd told molly. leaving no one behind.
there's a pause, after that. ] ...you too. [ stupid. he winces a little, internally, and corrects, ears turning red; ] Love you too.
[ THERE
anyway: ] ...We're getting closer and closer to the right way. Don't put yourself in too much danger, but - if this happens again, I'll be here to help.
[wow, that just has the black along her hands recede up in streaks, like watercolor. she inhales shakily, and when she looks at him, her eyes flicker in and out, from the lava shade to her normal irises. they settle back on the tiefling-like one color, but.]
... I know you will. [she brings his hand up to kiss his knuckles.] Thank you.
[for whatever part of him he's willing to give to her. she can give him a part of herself in return.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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Yifu?
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[ daddy ]
The emperor declared me his guardian officially, but I was already calling myself such when we were in Yanhui. [ a soft huff, and, a little more -- there's a hint of vulnerability to it, even. ] Parenting is really difficult - I don't think I have much of a knack for it, Lup.
Even still, that child - he's been through a lot. His mother was cruel to him, and I ended up caring for him more than she really did, but Ji Ping - ah. My second in command. He's got a better hand for it than I do. I'm busy, and constantly have to be out at the battlefield. Sometimes, I think he resents me, but, he's just a teenager, and...
[ there's a pause, here. gu yun looks at lup, covered in lava and transformed like that, and feels the twist of anxiety he'd felt, over and over, that care. the way he felt receiving that letter, all those months ago. ]
...We're the only family that we have, though. Just he and I.
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I uh, I don't think I'd make a good parent either. If it helps. [...] Even if he... acts like it, I'm sure you're important.
Like Taako. [she says, a little more distantly.] Like Taako.
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there's a brief moment where he holds still, and then shakes his head, coming over. he doesn't sit as close to lup as he might normally, but leans against the wall. just close enough. ]
Tell me about your brother.
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He's a clown. [she says, immediately, but it's fond.] A cool clown, though. He's very pretty and he knows he is. He's a bitch.
I love him more than anything. [and she misses him, so, so much.] He's my heart. My whole heart.
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You two are twins. Does that make you a clown, too? [ gently teasing. ] And he's...a wizard, right? What sort of things do wizards do?
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[she thinks, for a moment, pulling her knees even closer.] Cast spells. And create really powerful weapons, and... [sniff.] And forget their sisters, I guess.
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he frowns, a little, at the forgetting, again, and tilts his head to look at her properly. the topic feels...broaching it feels a little dangerous.
he pauses, choosing his words carefully. ]
When you're able to travel from world to world, we'll find him, and I'll come with. Shake him by his ankles until he remembers. Gently. [ all of his words. even the we. ]
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she swallows hard, and then:] I'm stuck in an umbrella. You'll have to find me first.
I guess - I guess that's my desire, though. To get out.
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[ don't challenge him! he says it lightly, but - he means it, too. even if he knows nothing about magic or magical worlds or world hopping or what have you. those were the fanciful daydreams that came up last week, and... well, he's allowed himself to think on it a bit, once or twice, since.
shifting, tilting his head over to look at her, though. ] That was in that memory of yours I experienced. How long has it been since then...? Not counting this place.
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[she slowly brings a hand down, looking at it. it's cooling over, molten rock. a daring rescue sounds... nice. it makes her feel better to think about. she's never really needed to be rescued before, and she doesn't want to start now, but the sentiment is nice.]
Um. Ten... ten years? Twelve? Somewhere.
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his mouth curls downwards into more of a frown, at the thought, and after a pause, he shakes his head. ] ...From a prison to a prison, in some sense.
[ hate that. really hate that! ]
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Mmhm. [...] I can touch people here, though. And see, and hear. Haha, we have that in common, sort of. It took a long time to figure out how to hear and see while I was stuck.
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no, kidding. he drops his hand, and carefully places it over hers, minding where his fingertips land. if it's too warm, he doesn't flinch. ]
It is terrible, isn't it? [ a soft wryness to that. it's a sense of empathy and... respect, too, for lup, for what she's been through, and for what she's going through now. ] ...But. With perseverance, it can be overcome.
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It can. [she sounds a little less distant.] ... I'm here.
[like he'd asked, weeks ago. she's here, she's present.]
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So you are.
[ .... ]
... you know, most of the time, I am rather good at talking. There are a few subjects that even I struggle with, though. Some things that take time. [ as he's saying this, he glances absently down at his hand - at the claws he's let come in and out all week, trying to take advantage of the just slightly better hearing and sight that's come in waves. pride, and all of that. ]
What you said to me last week. [ it's not very specific, considering, but - lup probably knows. at least, if she didn't before... well. his cheeks start to turn pink. ] It's mutual.
[ it's just - it's complicated. lup had checked with him all those weeks ago (is that okay with you about despair, and he'd laughed and waved it off, and it was, but -- well. there's another feeling tucked right next to this one, for someone else, too.) ]
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oh. she finally looks over at him, expression startled. for a second, she's silent, still, and then - he'll notice the black soot at the tips of her fingers recedes a little. the glasgow smile of lava shrinks.
it's complicated. she knows there's someone else for the both of them, but... even this much, even an acknowledgement, something that he gives her now, when she looks like this, after what she's done to him. she just sort of stops breathing for a second, and then:]
H-haha. You really had me feeling like a loser for two weeks, you know? [but she's holding his hand so tightly, refusing to let go.]
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... There are things, I suppose, I'm still fairly inexperienced in. [ a beat, and he mutters, reaching up to rub his nose with his free hand. ] ...sorry.
[ for making her feel that way!!! christ.
there's a beat, but he squeezes back. ]
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Don't apologize. You don't have to feel that way at all, and you uh, you sure didn't have to tell me. [a pause.]
... I'd forgotten what anchors feel like, almost.
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...gu yun glances over at her again, out of the corner of his eye. still pink cheeked and flustered, but... the phrase is familiar. ]
Better, I'd hope. [ seems like it. ]
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Better. [she agrees.] I'm, uh. I'm not angry now.
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[ there, that's much more familiar - his usual playful, teasing lilt, as he pulls up that warm hand to press a kiss to her fingertips. like this, even his hands are warm. ] I'm glad to hear it, Lup.
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I - uh. I uh. [just SAY IT. the blush doesn't show up, but she swallows hard, and:] Love you, Zixi.
We're going to make it.
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We will. [ that's easier. it's the conviction that colors how he looks at everything - once gu zixi sets his mind to something, he will make it happen. ] All or nothing.
[ attempting the impossible and achieving it, he'd told molly. leaving no one behind.
there's a pause, after that. ] ...you too. [ stupid. he winces a little, internally, and corrects, ears turning red; ] Love you too.
[ THERE
anyway: ] ...We're getting closer and closer to the right way. Don't put yourself in too much danger, but - if this happens again, I'll be here to help.
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... I know you will. [she brings his hand up to kiss his knuckles.] Thank you.
[for whatever part of him he's willing to give to her. she can give him a part of herself in return.]
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