Fortunately, that was only once. He's usually well-behaved, he just... [A pause, then, before he sighs softly.] ...thinks I'm something other than I am, that's all. [...]
I couldn't exactly tell him the truth! [HE'S NOT TELLING HIS PRECIOUS INNOCENT BROTHER THAT HE KILLS PEOPLE FOR FUN AND PROFIT] And, well... wouldn't that seem like the most exciting job, to a child...?
[He just wanted to be the cool older brother..............]
...yeah, I guess that's true. It's not like I knew Uncle was an assassin when I was little either. But what're you gonna do when he gets older and finds out you lied about it?
[A shrug.] That depends on how he finds out. The others already know the truth, so I imagine he'll be upset with all of us for a while.
[And Childe's already got a complicated relationship with his parents anyway, so... it won't feel good, if Teucer turns away from him, but it also won't be the first time. At least he's ready for it now.]
I'll accept however he feels about it. But he's so young, right now. He'll learn how harsh the world is sooner or later, but I'd much rather protect his dreams while I can than have him follow in my footsteps.
[LOOK... sometimes you are self-described as "kind of a bad guy" and you think that's perfectly fine. Also I'm saying this whole time they've been doing cookie prep so into the oven they go.]
He's not really my uncle and he's not an assassin anymore. He's a detective! Sort of. [they lean against the counter to wait for the cookies.] He's more like a father figure to me. I just always called him Uncle.
It's a really long story, but...he was planning on giving it up to stay with us. Things just didn't work out that way and we lost contact for a long time.
[Quite frankly he's getting something like uncle is dead in a tragic accident vibes, so he just hums in acknowledgment, keeping an eye on the cookies.]
I don't mind listening, but only if you want to talk about it.
It's probably only fair after all this time since I know a lot about you. [and they have time to kill baking cookies.]
I think I've maybe told you enough before that you know it's always just been me and my mom. But when I was 12, my mom met Uncle. I didn't really know it at the time, but she found him hiding one day after a hit went wrong and he'd been wounded. And then he started spending time with us and fell in love with my mom. I kept waiting for the day they announced they were gonna get married, but that never happened.
...I learned this way later, but at the time I thought he just disappeared all together. He didn't even say goodbye. But I kept working to try and become an idol hoping that if I couldn't go to him, he could come back to us. But what I didn't know at the time was that he had tried to quit working for the yakuza as an assassin to be a part of our family. The mob boss at the time? He wanted Uncle to kill us. To kill me. And Uncle wasn't going to do it. So he came up with this plan, but even more things went wrong.
There's...this thing. Where I'm from. It's called psyncing. It's meant to allow someone to connect with another person to see inside their dreams, but it can also allow a person to swap bodies. So...that's what Uncle did. He worked with the police to bring the mob boss in so that they could psync and switch bodies. Uncle was going to pose as the mob boss to tell the gang not to kill me and Mom.
But the mob boss was in Uncle's body and he ran away before the police could stop him. He went to our house, and Uncle followed him in the mob boss's body. My mom...nearly died that night. Uncle tried to kill the man in his body, but he shot my mom instead and he was arrested.
But then he was told by the lady he was working with that he should go and talk to the son of this politician. It turns out the mob boss and this other guy were involved in a series of murders. Uncle was going to go get more information, but the son knew he was someone else in his partner's body! He forced Uncle to come with him and perform another psync to swap, but something went wrong. They swapped bodies, but their memories didn't transfer right...Uncle was in a new body, but he didn't remember anything at all.
That was six years ago. The only reason I even found him was by total coincidence, and I didn't even know it at the time. I just thought he was a detective looking into a new series of murders.
[For all of his flaws, Childe is a good listener--he's quiet and attentive as Lust speaks, only taking his attention away when it's time to take the cookies out of the oven. Even then, he's nodding, glancing over to indicate that he's still listening.
There's something of a complicated look on his face, when they finish speaking; he doesn't respond right away, turning over everything they've said in his head.
Eventually, quietly--]
...It takes a lot to walk away. Your Uncle's got a strong will. [Whatever he, personally, thinks about that decision, he doesn't seem inclined to share--but maybe that's just because it doesn't matter, since it's not his life in the first place.] What happened, after you found him again?
Yeah...he's great that way. [they're aware that it isn't entirely relatable, maybe, for childe, but they don't mind sharing all of this. they dance out of the way when he pulls the cookies out of the oven but they lean to examine them anyhow.]
Well...you mean when I found him in the other guy's body, or when I realized it was him?
Well...my mom and I were held hostage by the guy who stole back the body Uncle was in, and Uncle's partner exploded inside that guy's head. So everybody's back where they should be, but...
...[a shrug.] Then all of this happened, so whenever I go back I guess I'll find out what's next.
...That sounds very eventful. [THAT'S ONE WAY TO PUT IT. At least he had all his current business finished when he left Teyvat, even if his reputation is in complete shreds.] With any luck, we'll be back soon enough.
BUT ALSO, eyeballing the cookies. He taps one lightly with a fingertip, then nods.]
They're still warm, but I don't think that will bother Wrath much. Could you call them down?
[He did in fact appreciate hearing about Lust's home and life, but he also hasn't forgotten that his whole goal here is to enjoy Wrath having to be nice to him to his face for the like. Five seconds they'll probably be in the kitchen before fleeing]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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well,]
He thinks I'm a famous toy seller.
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[WHY?]
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I couldn't exactly tell him the truth! [HE'S NOT TELLING HIS PRECIOUS INNOCENT BROTHER THAT HE KILLS PEOPLE FOR FUN AND PROFIT] And, well... wouldn't that seem like the most exciting job, to a child...?
[He just wanted to be the cool older brother..............]
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[And Childe's already got a complicated relationship with his parents anyway, so... it won't feel good, if Teucer turns away from him, but it also won't be the first time. At least he's ready for it now.]
I'll accept however he feels about it. But he's so young, right now. He'll learn how harsh the world is sooner or later, but I'd much rather protect his dreams while I can than have him follow in my footsteps.
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[shit like this is why they think childe's still got good parts to him.]
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He's eight, yes.
[...
wait--]
Your uncle is an assassin?
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He's not really my uncle and he's not an assassin anymore. He's a detective! Sort of. [they lean against the counter to wait for the cookies.] He's more like a father figure to me. I just always called him Uncle.
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I admit, I was going to be very surprised if he still was one.
[Given that Lust already told him they used to catch serial killers. Awkward!]
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I don't mind listening, but only if you want to talk about it.
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I think I've maybe told you enough before that you know it's always just been me and my mom. But when I was 12, my mom met Uncle. I didn't really know it at the time, but she found him hiding one day after a hit went wrong and he'd been wounded. And then he started spending time with us and fell in love with my mom. I kept waiting for the day they announced they were gonna get married, but that never happened.
...I learned this way later, but at the time I thought he just disappeared all together. He didn't even say goodbye. But I kept working to try and become an idol hoping that if I couldn't go to him, he could come back to us. But what I didn't know at the time was that he had tried to quit working for the yakuza as an assassin to be a part of our family. The mob boss at the time? He wanted Uncle to kill us. To kill me. And Uncle wasn't going to do it. So he came up with this plan, but even more things went wrong.
There's...this thing. Where I'm from. It's called psyncing. It's meant to allow someone to connect with another person to see inside their dreams, but it can also allow a person to swap bodies. So...that's what Uncle did. He worked with the police to bring the mob boss in so that they could psync and switch bodies. Uncle was going to pose as the mob boss to tell the gang not to kill me and Mom.
But the mob boss was in Uncle's body and he ran away before the police could stop him. He went to our house, and Uncle followed him in the mob boss's body. My mom...nearly died that night. Uncle tried to kill the man in his body, but he shot my mom instead and he was arrested.
But then he was told by the lady he was working with that he should go and talk to the son of this politician. It turns out the mob boss and this other guy were involved in a series of murders. Uncle was going to go get more information, but the son knew he was someone else in his partner's body! He forced Uncle to come with him and perform another psync to swap, but something went wrong. They swapped bodies, but their memories didn't transfer right...Uncle was in a new body, but he didn't remember anything at all.
That was six years ago. The only reason I even found him was by total coincidence, and I didn't even know it at the time. I just thought he was a detective looking into a new series of murders.
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There's something of a complicated look on his face, when they finish speaking; he doesn't respond right away, turning over everything they've said in his head.
Eventually, quietly--]
...It takes a lot to walk away. Your Uncle's got a strong will. [Whatever he, personally, thinks about that decision, he doesn't seem inclined to share--but maybe that's just because it doesn't matter, since it's not his life in the first place.] What happened, after you found him again?
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Well...you mean when I found him in the other guy's body, or when I realized it was him?
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[Don't burn yourself Lust u_u but he will use a spatula to move them off the tray and onto the plate so they cool faster.
And both is fine, but--]
I was thinking the latter.
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...[a shrug.] Then all of this happened, so whenever I go back I guess I'll find out what's next.
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...That sounds very eventful. [THAT'S ONE WAY TO PUT IT. At least he had all his current business finished when he left Teyvat, even if his reputation is in complete shreds.] With any luck, we'll be back soon enough.
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It was...pretty gross, but effective! But it meant that he lost his partner in the blast, too.
We'll see though. We still don't know how long it'll be before you guys leave, but after that? Anything's possible.
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[Anything really is possible, he feels.
BUT ALSO, eyeballing the cookies. He taps one lightly with a fingertip, then nods.]
They're still warm, but I don't think that will bother Wrath much. Could you call them down?
[He did in fact appreciate hearing about Lust's home and life, but he also hasn't forgotten that his whole goal here is to enjoy Wrath having to be nice to him to his face for the like. Five seconds they'll probably be in the kitchen before fleeing]
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You think this'll work?
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[It will work*
*to irritate Wrath, which is the goal here]
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