GRAVEYARD ✨

[probe]

POPULATION: GHOST TOWN

You die - and then you wake up.

For a second, it feels as though you can't breathe, and then your head breaks the surface. You crawl out of a pool of blood and into a large, crystalline room. Moving images play across the crystal walls, and if you watch close enough, you'll realize that you're seeing the land of the living; a familiar space station with familiar faces. You can watch these images for as long as you'd like - there are several very large benches (as in, you have to climb them to sit on them) around the room for you to rest on while you do.

Regardless of how you died, it seems as though you're not quite gone completely. You're in one piece, at least. That's good news. However, your surroundings are not exactly what you remember.

When you exit the first room, a bleak, empty city sprawls out ahead of you.

The city itself is large. The framework of it seems to tower higher and higher than you can see, up into the black opal sky that shivers and curls every so often. A river entirely made of blood runs through the city, winding around buildings and ending at the crystal room. The most noticeable thing about the buildings themselves is the fact that thorny vines made of pure white steel dig into the walls and floor, cracking the foundations.

The residential building is worn down and old. It's two floors, and has a few small studio apartments built for one or two people to live in. The beds are extremely uncomfortable. It has a communal area downstairs, but the TV is broken, and the couches are torn apart. Sometimes, this building feels obscenely hot in temperature, and smells like rotten eggs.

The grocery store is your typical convenience store. There's a large selection of food in this area, but it all tastes the same - like chalk. On top of this, every so often there will be bloodstains on the walls, the floor, and the displays. They change in size and location, each time you enter the store.

The clothing store is thrifty in nature. All the clothes here are uncomfortable and scratchy, and don't fit quite right. While you're here, time feels... weird. Distorted, almost dreamy. As you're picking out clothes and trying them on (no money needed, just take what you want), you swear you can hear a gunshot in the distance.

Enjoy your time in this city, and remember...your story isn't quite over yet.

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Comments

[commedia]

...

But why.

[niceguyferatu]

I wanted to evaluate the quality of the cheeses here, especially now as food is beginning to taste better. And while I'm at it, I might as well indulge.

[commedia]

Are you just addicted to cheese? Why cheese?

[niceguyferatu]

I'm not addicted to cheese, I just have a refined appreciation for it. I do, after all, come from a state renowned for its cheese production.

[commedia]

State, no state, it just looks like you're addicted.

Seek help, Vlad.

[niceguyferatu]

I'm not addicted, I just--

What's more indulgent than taking all the cheese?

[commedia]

[Eats their toblerone thoughtfully.]

...Seems a bit... [Right. Nice.] Well, one as smart as yourself has other pursuits, yes?

[niceguyferatu]

We're in a place that revolves entirely around us indulging ourselves. And we're dead, Douman. What other pursuits could I possibly have here?

[ i mean. he DOES very much plan to bust outta this place and find a way to do so. but that's not going so well, and in the meantime. cheese. ]

[commedia]

[A shrug.]

I don't know...the pinball machine is fun.

[niceguyferatu]

[ warily: ]

...how much pinball have you played since we got access to that machine?

[commedia]

[MAKES "I DUNNO" NOISE WITH THEIR MOUTH]

[niceguyferatu]

[ WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN MEAN DOUMAN ]

Well...have you considered trying cheese instead?

[commedia]

[Smiles!]

Please keep your cheese proclivities to yourself.

[niceguyferatu]

Do you have something against cheese in particular?

[commedia]

No. Cheese is fine.

[And just...walks over to pluck some of the cheese from the floor.]

Maybe I should take some off your hands?

[niceguyferatu]

Well, I wouldn't be opposed to help with carrying it all.

Nor would I be opposed to sharing some of the nuances of cheeses--or as much of those nuances is left, what with the chalkiness.

[commedia]

Well if they are so nuanced...shouldn't you share it with the rest of us? Come now...

[niceguyferatu]

Oh, but of course. One can't understand the nuances without trying them, after all.

[commedia]

...

[Hm.]

Very well. Explain the nuances of these cheese to me, then.

[niceguyferatu]

Let's first carry all of this over to somewhere a little less haphazard, hmm? The kitchen, perhaps?

[commedia]

Why should I help you carry it? You can carry it yourself. You're a big strong man, right?

[everyone thought douman was baby but in the end they're just bitch]

[niceguyferatu]

[ really, man? ]

It's not an issue of heaviness, it's an issue of the cheese taking up more physical space than my arms can carry.

[commedia]

You could make more than one trip? Vlad, think!

[Now they're starting to understand why it was fun for Limbo to make fun of this guy.]

[Douman never liked people with too much pride on their hands.]

[niceguyferatu]

Very well.

[ I guess Vlad's just been holding a shitton of cheese this whole time and gradually losing a few over the course of it, so. He's gonna set all the cheese down on one of the shelves, pick up the loose ones, and then:

Stuff a few in his pockets! Jams some into the waist of his pants! And...boy, that still leaves more cheese than he can carry, huh.

He stuffs some down his oversized-shitty-graveyard-jacket sleeves, like he's a teen boy trying to beef up his biceps with tennis balls! And THEN he gathers up the rest of the cheese in his arms. It piles high, a veritable mountain liable to fall apart at any moment, but if Vlad maintains this arm position the whole time, and keeps his chin tucked over the top of the whole thing, surely nothing will go wrong here! ]

[commedia]

[...]

[Douman is. Trying. Very, very hard not to laugh.]

There you go! You can do it, Vlad.

[SNNNRK]