TL;CR MEME

[probe]

1. Comment with your character.
2. Receive comments from others.
3. Reply to their comments with long ballads and explanations of your characters' relationship throughout the game.
4. Suffer as we have suffered over your CR.

Comments

[enfangs]

week three but what if i just don't touch the confession

Before that, though—this is when they had the convo about how White kind of prefers it when Mineo doesn't hold back. Which is true! He didn't even really mean fighting, even if that was the context. White got the feeling that Mineo held back a lot in general and it's not like he doesn't understand why he chooses to do so. But at least around each other, White prefers that Mineo be wholly who he is, whether it's nice or not (not unlike how Mineo prefers White's brutal honesty than hiding what he thinks).

And then lore came out and White just admires Mineo even more? Sure, Mineo kind of gave up, but the fact that he cared and wanted to try and do better now even after everything is, as White put it, more than the world deserved from him as far as White was concerned. The whole notion of getting back up after the world beat you down hard enough to stop trying i the first place is one that strikes very close to home for him, and. being able to do it is a turn-on. sighs deeply

Mineo is also one of the few people White actually, like. Explained a lot of his lore to? (At the very least, he's definitely the one who got the most.) A lot of people got the memshare and politely looked away or got the general surface deets after prying a little, but. White is part of the club where if you don't ask, he won't give, since it's a lot easier to talk about his crimes than things like the abuse or why he's called White or the things in general that led him down this path.

also "If it's something about you, of course I'll remember." more on shit Mineo says!

Anyway.

Unfortunately, White is so, so obvious about dokis, and so we get to the confession.

White really didn't want to say anything! If he was ever going to, it probably would've been at endgame just to let Mineo know he was glad to have met him, except in this AU Mineo and Takeru would presumably be dating so jk he definitely wouldn't be saying that.

But then Mineo guilted him into it, and again, there's White's need to make him happy coming into play here. He weighed his options, realized this could go horribly wrong (namely in terms of burdening Mineo with his feelings), but decided that leaving Mineo to think that White was hiding something and how it fed into his issues was worse.

He wasn't expecting anything! He wasn't asking to be a relationship! If he expected anything, it was just to be rejected, because Mineo was clearly straight???? So the fact that Mineo actually wanted to talk it out was a bit of a surprise? Still, White took the non-answer as a no, in that he figured that even if Mineo ended up thinking about it some more, he would still not be into White (even putting aside that White wasn't asking for a relationship or anything).

In the end, it was kind of a relief to get it out? Mineo laid out what he wanted/didn't want, and White was fine with that. He's great at lying to himself, so all he had to do was pretend he didn't actually have a crush or at least not be so obvious about it/let it interfere with anything. There were also probably various times where he just tried to permanently undo his crush entirely, but those obviously ended in failure.

But at the end of the day, he could shove down some dokis for the sake of not making Mineo uncomfortable! When it came out, it was mostly in gestures that at least toed the line of romantic/platonic. In fact, White was apparently excessive in how much he tried not to show his feelings BECAUSE APPARENTLY MINEO WAS FINE WITH IT SHOWING? Too bad White didn't know and this is why they ended up never banging.

Also, his friendship with Mineo really did matter much, much more than any crushes, so. I've said this before, but at this point, when White isn't really looking for a relationship as so much as a sense of peace, confessing is more of his way of saying, "I'm glad to have met you."

It is so funny that this week ended with White nearly eating poisoned evidence, wow. If it'd been anyone else who got angry at White, he probably would've gotten defensive and not learn his lesson, but. Again, Mineo's approval means a lot to him and honestly that entire bit with Mineo scolding him was one of White's most actively miserable moments in the game up to that point. MINEO BEING MAD AT HIM AT THIS POINT REALLY HURT A LOT. Unfortunately made him fall even further for him too (since the anger was mixed in with care, and like White explained, it's not a reaction he's used to getting from people when he screws up like this).

Actually, this was the week where it was kind of getting to White that people weren't telling him things, so even if that also applied to Mineo, White really appreciated Mineo trying to assure him that he helped? He saw the memshare, so you know that White's last moments involved him feeling like he didn't do enough and it's something that kind of sits him with him even now. He's not necessarily ashamed of not being all that smart, but being useless is another matter.

One or two other people did assure White that he wasn't actually stupid, but Mineo was usually the one who consistently encouraged him to think better of himself. :pensive:

REALLY DIDN'T HELP WITH GETTING RID OF DOKIS THANKS

WHITE REALLY JUST WANTED TO GO THROUGH ONE CONVERSATION THAT DIDN'T REMIND HIM WHY HE LIKED THIS IDIOT

phew week 3 is over now