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But it does, I...when Limbo came to me, they told me...
[And a shuddering sigh.]
"If things remain as they are, you'll never once surpass Seimei." And I just...couldn't handle it. It was at that moment that they slipped into my body. If only I had...held out longer...
[And a shuddering sigh.]
"If things remain as they are, you'll never once surpass Seimei." And I just...couldn't handle it. It was at that moment that they slipped into my body. If only I had...held out longer...
It was because I wasn't good enough that I was vulnerable.
[Ah, what a miserable state. Always last. Always hated. Always never good enough.]
[The people of Limbo, they live in longing-]
...Ah. [Douman wipes their eyes with a sleeve.] There's no use crying over it now. It isn't as if anything will change, now. I'm dead, after all.
[Ah, what a miserable state. Always last. Always hated. Always never good enough.]
[The people of Limbo, they live in longing-]
...Ah. [Douman wipes their eyes with a sleeve.] There's no use crying over it now. It isn't as if anything will change, now. I'm dead, after all.
Oh no, you're not too hard to carry.
[Douman doesn't see a problem with this? Though when they see that blush...]
[Ah. Envy really is cute. Luckily, with long strides, its quicker to get back to their room. Keeping hold of the Avatar with a hand, they open the door with the other, and move towards the bed to sit, not yet putting Envy down.]
There. Better, yes?
[Douman doesn't see a problem with this? Though when they see that blush...]
[Ah. Envy really is cute. Luckily, with long strides, its quicker to get back to their room. Keeping hold of the Avatar with a hand, they open the door with the other, and move towards the bed to sit, not yet putting Envy down.]
There. Better, yes?
Certainly faster.
[And less risk of Envy tripping and falling flat on their face. Douman doesn't push the Avatar away, just sitting there with him, letting out a sigh.]
I'm glad you're here. You know, I...wanted to talk to you about something. Though in your state...maybe I should let you rest.
[And less risk of Envy tripping and falling flat on their face. Douman doesn't push the Avatar away, just sitting there with him, letting out a sigh.]
I'm glad you're here. You know, I...wanted to talk to you about something. Though in your state...maybe I should let you rest.
That's...good.
[And now, even with this whole-ass man in their lap, they're noticeably a little awkward, trying to figure out what to say.]
Um. Gluttony visited us, earlier. And they said something that, uh...I've been thinking about.
[A pause.]
They said that you...um. That you...that if I disappeared, you'd be...upset.
[And now, even with this whole-ass man in their lap, they're noticeably a little awkward, trying to figure out what to say.]
Um. Gluttony visited us, earlier. And they said something that, uh...I've been thinking about.
[A pause.]
They said that you...um. That you...that if I disappeared, you'd be...upset.
-of course I would. I mean-- we get along, right, you said so yourself-- I'd rather have you around, even if it's like this.
[even if they're dead, even if he's only met this side of them in death. his brow furrows a little, as he peers at them.]
...did you think I wouldn't?
[even if they're dead, even if he's only met this side of them in death. his brow furrows a little, as he peers at them.]
...did you think I wouldn't?
I mean, I...I'm not used to people missing me. I always just assume people would want me gone. Not that I think you'd think that, but...
[Its hard. When one lives most of their life assuming they're hated, even nice words like that are hard to be incredibly convincing.]
You know, I was thinking of...helping everyone in this mess, especially you, but...also trying to find a way where I could get rid of myself, so that I wouldn't ever turn into Limbo, and spread evil. So that humanity would never have to deal with the monster I became.
[A shuddering sigh. They can't meet Envy's eyes.]
I didn't feel I deserved this second chance at life.
[Its hard. When one lives most of their life assuming they're hated, even nice words like that are hard to be incredibly convincing.]
You know, I was thinking of...helping everyone in this mess, especially you, but...also trying to find a way where I could get rid of myself, so that I wouldn't ever turn into Limbo, and spread evil. So that humanity would never have to deal with the monster I became.
[A shuddering sigh. They can't meet Envy's eyes.]
I didn't feel I deserved this second chance at life.
...it's hard to just, um. Not think things like that, trust me, I know, I'm like five seconds away at any given moment from being totally convinced everyone I like is going to ditch me because I'm weird.
[...the alcohol gives him a case of running-mouth-syndrome, clearly.]
If things work out so that you don't just all stay dead forever-- which also resolves the problem, I guess-- haaave you considered just finding a way not to end up being Limbo instead of, like, going full nuclear on yourself? Then you could-- I don't know. Do stuff with your life to make up for it. Make sure you don't do the same things a second time.
[he's quiet, a moment.]
Usually I'm not, um, a big proponent of like. Going back on death, or cheating it. Fate's usually supposed to be fate, you know? But if you were here in the first place, I think that can be a kind of fate. Maybe you can just hang out with me as a ghost or something, I'm good at that.
[...the alcohol gives him a case of running-mouth-syndrome, clearly.]
If things work out so that you don't just all stay dead forever-- which also resolves the problem, I guess-- haaave you considered just finding a way not to end up being Limbo instead of, like, going full nuclear on yourself? Then you could-- I don't know. Do stuff with your life to make up for it. Make sure you don't do the same things a second time.
[he's quiet, a moment.]
Usually I'm not, um, a big proponent of like. Going back on death, or cheating it. Fate's usually supposed to be fate, you know? But if you were here in the first place, I think that can be a kind of fate. Maybe you can just hang out with me as a ghost or something, I'm good at that.
...I've thought about it. Staying and seeing if I can just...avoid it.
[They're reluctant to admit it, but they have. But isn't that wrong? Isn't that turning one's back to the problem, leaving the bad seed alone, and hope it doesn't bloom into a flower of evil?]
I-I don't know. I want to think I can just avoid it, because I'm not Limbo, and never want to be, but...it isn't as if that's a separate monster or something. There are traits in Limbo which I know all too well. I don't want to be lax and think I'll simply be "good" when...it is easier for me not to be.
[They lean forward, knocking their forehead gently against Ryan's forehead.]
I feel like I'm falling apart. [A beat.] Gluttony said you'd be heartbroken if I destroyed myself, and...you've already been through so much pain. I don't want to be someone who adds more to that.
[They're reluctant to admit it, but they have. But isn't that wrong? Isn't that turning one's back to the problem, leaving the bad seed alone, and hope it doesn't bloom into a flower of evil?]
I-I don't know. I want to think I can just avoid it, because I'm not Limbo, and never want to be, but...it isn't as if that's a separate monster or something. There are traits in Limbo which I know all too well. I don't want to be lax and think I'll simply be "good" when...it is easier for me not to be.
[They lean forward, knocking their forehead gently against Ryan's forehead.]
I feel like I'm falling apart. [A beat.] Gluttony said you'd be heartbroken if I destroyed myself, and...you've already been through so much pain. I don't want to be someone who adds more to that.
Wh- wait, hang on, they really said that-?!
[his eyes widen at that, the flush on his cheeks coming back with a vengeance, but he doesn't pull away from douman.]
I mean, um, yeah, I wouldn't- I really don't want to see that happen to you? Not like that, I mean, it's one thing if you end up consumed or something but-- I don't want you to destroy yourself.
[his eyes widen at that, the flush on his cheeks coming back with a vengeance, but he doesn't pull away from douman.]
I mean, um, yeah, I wouldn't- I really don't want to see that happen to you? Not like that, I mean, it's one thing if you end up consumed or something but-- I don't want you to destroy yourself.
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